Rainbow Babies...

I'm stealing this from a girl (Laura) on Hannah's Prayer. She had posted it about our miracle babies, and this is just the perfect words for this journey...

Short and sweet! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

RAINBOW BABIES

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

Promise...

I've not gone missing!! Life has been CRAZY! New job, new routine. I just can not keep up!! this working mom stuff is HARD! But I'm so in love!

I have a couple of started posts that I'll need to go back and finish...

For those who have checked on me, THANK YOU! It is appreciated! We are not gone, only detoured and running a bit on empty! :-)

However, before I go, I must say that I am the proud mommy of a SIX MONTH OLD today! I can't believe how the time has flown! He is sitting up, rolling forward and backward, eating all kinds of fruits and veggies, smiling, laughing, and just overall being the light of our lives! I'm abundantly blessed that I am so busy with MY SON! God is good!!!

So this quick post will be left with a video...Mr. Sam Chit Chattin'.
Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Samuel's Dedication...

Oh my, we have a son that we are dedicating to the Lord!! Oh Lord I never thought it possible, I had given up hope that this day would come! Yet we prepared today to return this precious child to you, and promise to raise him in Your name! Thank you Lord for this miracle boy!

The service was amazing. And appropriate as Pastor Tom spoke Honor and preached out of 1st and 2nd Samuel. What an honor! What another God thing! As this day had been postponed twice only to end up having dedication on the very weekend Pastor spoke on Samuel. You can actually watch the sermon here: Honoring What God Honors .

So our church does a beautiful thing for the dedicated children. They gave us a letter, a letter that we will give our son when he accepts Jesus into his heart. It tells of how his mommy and daddy brought him to the church to be dedicated before the people, promising to raise him in the Lord, and how he is a child of God. That he was loved before he could even understand the word, and that his church family lifted him up in prayer, rejoicing in the gift God had given to this world. How awesome is that? Plus he got his first bible. It was just amazing! I'm so humbled by the gift that God has given us!!!

We then celebrated at mom and dad's house. Had family over and a food and fellowship, celebrating this little boy. God is so good! Thank you for this gift dear Lord!!! Here are some photos. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Quiet Sunday Morning

I'm listening to both my guys snore. Its just lovely. No really, it is. :-) To hear the two guys in my life that I'm just utterly in love with. I'm beyond blessed! Its amazing to sit back and see the wonderful things God has given me! I wish I had words of gratitude for all I have been blessed with.

No real point to this post today. Just sittin' back and babbling away. We had a wonderful July 4th service at church yesterday. Our pastor was on fire for restoration in our country. I'm in complete agreement! Totally ready for our nation to return to the ways of the Lord. To bring Christ back to the heart of our country. Regardless, I'm so grateful to live in a free nation. And so thankful for those men/women who have fought for that freedom, continue to FIGHT for my freedom. I'm so thankful! Grateful I can blab on an open blog about My God and all He has done for me!! Thank you Lord for freedom!

Sammy is gettin' big. His 4 month check he was at 16 lb 7 oz and 25in long. He's got a big ol' head and the MD says he's just gonna be a big boy. That could go without saying!! Look at the height/weight of those he comes from!! Football player maybe? Ha! What a blessing this little boy is. I just have to pinch myself every day, truly remembering he is MINE. All mine! Thank you Jesus for him! What an amazing testament to the power of our Lord! My own little miracle. Ok not so little anymore. :-) Look how far we've come!

Crazy...Again no real rhyme or reason to my posting today. Just feel like thanking Jesus for all the gifts in my life. My husband, my son, my freedom, my family...Most importantly, MY SALVATION, because w/o that, nothing else matters! Thank you Lord for this journey you have taken me on! I can't wait to see what else is in store!

Happy Birthday America! May everyone have a fabulous 4th of July! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

What a special day!

Today marks one year that my son was created. Isn't that crazy that I know the date that my son was created?? Its funny to have a picture of a time that is normally hidden. Creation that is done in the silence of one's body. Something that only just recently advanced science has been able to witness. The creation of LIFE.

1 year ago today I was wheeled into an operating room where the weeks of hormones, shots, ultrasounds and bloodwork presented itself in the form of 10 eggs being removed from my ovaries. (its not a fun place, lemme tell ya) And then those eggs were mixed with Matt's guys (tee hee) and my little babies were formed! How AWESOME is that?? Life was created...MY CHILD'S LIFE.

Even tho its all so "medical". The intervention was not that of a marriage union, but one of needles and medicine, it still brought me this precious son I have in my arms! But to think, even with all this technology, science has yet to perfectly re-create pregnancy 100% of the time. If they could, there would be no IF, no broken hearts yearning for a child. Still in all this modern technology, God's masterful hand has to be in it. HE still has to breathe life into this creation. And I'm so very thankful that He did! Because I have my precious son!

So today I celebrate the creation of my child's life! ( and his 6 frozen embryo siblings) I'm so thankful that the beginning of this journey started today, 1 year ago. The journey to my son. Thank you so much Lord for this precious child of mine!!!

Have a blessed day in the LORD!

This is Sammy as a 5 day Blastocyte













And THAT turned into THIS. God's amazing CREATION!!!

Busy busy busy!

I'm such a bad blogger! I'm so sorry my faithful readers. :-) But can you tell work started? Cuz I have NO TIME TO WRITE NOW!! LOL...I'm adjusting to being a working mom, but I'm grateful to have the means to care for my family!

First off, NEW JOB! God is so good. I'm working at Palms West Hospital again!!! I feel like I've come home. I LOVE working at the hospital!! Its such a joy! Hands on with the patients, AND I get pediatrics and adults. I'm working in ASU aka Ambulatory Surgery Unit. Basically we are the Pre-op department that you start in just prior to going into surgery. Its fast paced and wonderful ladies work there, and I'm enjoying it. Not to mention the fact that I only work 2-3 days a week and get to spend 4-5 days with Sammy! Its perfect! God is so good for bringing this job into our life!!!

Sammy is getting BIG! I don't know how much he weighs b/c he hasn't seen the Pedi, but I'd say a good 15lbs! He is developing such a personality and temper! He is starting to reach for stuff and LOVES to try and sit up and stand! I put together an exersaucer for him yesterday and he is almost tall enough for it, about 1/2 in too short! But I'm thinking it will be fabulous for him. He is relatively sleeping through the night, about 10-10.5 hrs a night? Trying to get on a napping schedule, but I'll be happy with sleeping through the night!! Oh and he is so full of personality, smiles and giggles. He loves to have conversations with anyone who will listen. He is such a joy! I'm in love with this little boy.

Mother's Day this year was so different then what we've had for the last 7 years. I spent it in Miami with my parents, aunties/uncle, cousins and of course my SON. MY SON, wow, those words are still so surreal to me. I'm a mom!! I have a precious little boy of my own!! Its so crazy to think about! And I'm truly grateful for this little boy in my life! What a precious blessing he is!

I enjoyed being able to celebrate MY mom, because she has stood by me for all these years, giving me the space I need, not forcing me to celebrate a heartbreaking day, being the generous loving mom that she is. Giving up her day for my peace. So to be able to celebrate this year, not just me now being a mom, but finally celebrating together MY mom, it was a blessing. I'm so blessed to have her in my life! She is just the most understanding, kindest, gentlest, most loving person in the world!!! And lucky me, I GET HER FOR A MOMMY!! I'm so lucky! I love her with every breath I breathe! Thank you Lord for this precious lady in my life! My son is blessed to have her for a Nana.

Well , its not much of an update, but I wanted to show that I am still here! Nothing real profound to say, but grateful for the oppurtunity to say it! ;-) Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

Mothers-to-be Day

I was scanning through Facebook when I noticed a post from our IVF clinic. I love how they post notes of encouragement, hope and just good ol' heart filling tidbits. They are just fabulous like that! They make it not just about "come get treatment here! Give us thousands of dollars!! We are the best!" blah blah blah. Their bottom line is not about the $$ but about the success and truly bring joy to those who desperately want a child. They are pretty awesome like that...

Anyway, so I noticed today that they posted a note for "Mothers-to-be Day". Intriguing thought, so of course I went to read it. It was just so encouraging, I had to post it here....ENJOY!

She broke the bread into two fragments, and gave them to the children, who ate with avidity. “She has kept none for herself,” grumbled the sergeant. “Because she is not hungry,” said a soldier. “Because she is a mother,” said the sergeant. – Victor Hugo

The other day I ran into another one of those patients that always makes me smile when I see her. She brought me up to date on what was happening in her life. It was a story of debilitating pain and multiple surgeries to try and relieve the pain. Instead of relief she developed a tumor in the area that required more surgery. In the end she was still in just as much pain and on chronic medications for it. I expressed my heartfelt sympathy for what she has had to go through. She smiled and said she’s fine and that she is almost off of the pain medications because she is planning to come to see me soon to try to have another baby. She was coming off of the medications not because she didn’t have pain, she was coming off of the medication because she wanted to have another baby. I looked into her eyes – and her smile and realized I am a better person for knowing her.

Mother’s day is upon us. It is not that welcome of a holiday for my patients. Gifts passed out at church or given by a well meaning spouse do little to fill the void of yearning that brings them to my office. We hear stories about the great love, sacrifice and courage that mother’s have for their children, but little is said about the incredible love, sacrifice and courage of my “mothers-to-be”.

It takes incredible courage to acknowledge that there is even a problem. We all want to believe that we are in control of our lives and to acknowledge that there is a fertility problem is to internalize a lack of control over this incredibly sensitive part of their lives.

It takes courage to seek medical attention. No one likes to see doctors (I’m over a year late for my colonoscopy), and the trip to the fertility doctor is a particularly difficult journey.

It takes courage to undergo procedures that are not comfortable and are in an area where discomfort is particularly unwanted.

It takes courage to face the possibility of disappointment. Studies have shown that when a woman experiencing infertility has a period, indicating that once again she is not pregnant, she experiences the same degree of grief as if her brother or sister had just died. Most of us will go through that only once or twice in our lifetime. Imagine going through that every month for years. Then imagine going through a specific procedure to get pregnant and having it not work.

It takes courage to hope that it will work the first time and proceed , and even greater courage to experience a failed attempt and then turn around and have the courage to hope again.

These women undergo great sacrifices.

They sacrifice the intimacy of what was supposed to be a wonderful and intensely personal experience with their partner for a doctor’s office.

They sacrifice time on often repetitive visits for monitoring and procedures.

They sacrifice financial resources as they struggle to have something that everyone around them seems to receive without thought and sometimes with disdain.

They sacrifice personal comfort, sometimes thinking that if they experience pain, they will be more worthy of the “gain” they so desperately seek.

Why? Why do they do this? They do this for the same reason the mother gives her bread and goes without. They do it for love. The only difference is that they do it for a deep abiding love for a child that they have not yet held, a voice they have not yet heard, a smile they have not yet seen, and a touch they have not yet felt.

My smiling patient had experienced infertility for 10 months when she came to see me. It was clear that each passing month was difficult. She had endometriosis and her husband had a sperm problem. We unfortunately discovered that her biological clock was more advanced than it should have been. When two months of inseminations failed, she went immediately to IVF. She required high doses of medication to produce 9 eggs but only made 4 embryos. One of them would be her beautiful baby boy.

Sixteen months after delivery, she was back for a brother or sister. She did IVF again. Similar story with a positive pregnancy test but then the pregnancy hormone dropped, leaving her with what is called a “biochemical pregnancy”. The pain from her medical condition had reached a peak and she had to stop infertility treatment to pursue that. She returned two years later after many surgeries and no relief in her pain with the intent to continue but could not. She returns now two years later having experienced a tumor where her pain surgeries had been and having had an additional 7 biochemical pregnancies – and she still wears a smile. She is the epitome of the courage, sacrifice, and love that characterizes mothers in general and the “mothers-to-be” that I have the privilege of associating with every day.

To each of them and to mother’s everywhere, Happy Mother’s day!

Drew V. Moffitt, M.D., FACOG, is the co-medical director of the Arizona Reproductive Medicine Specialists (ARMS), the director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center and an assistant professor at the University of Arizona. He is now president of ARMS and director of the Division of Reproductive Medicine and infertility for the residency program at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center. Dr. Moffitt has significant clinical experience in assisted reproductive technologies and reproductive surgery.

How awesome is that?? And so true!!! I hope you find some encouragement today, just as I did... Have a blessed day in the Lord!