Just some pictures...

Sammy will be 4 weeks old on Friday. Holy MOLY!!! He is going through a major growth spurt right now and sucking the life out of mommy! Oiy...But he is still cute as can be! Have no idea how much he weighs, but he feels 9lbs already!!! He'll be out of newborn diapers in a week if that. Thankfully the diaper fairies had given us CASES of size 1 and 2 diapers, so we are set for a while! YAY Praise God! Even in this, God has provided!! We are truly blessed!

First here is a link to his newborn session by Jamilah's Creative Touch. You'll have to make a sign into Pictage, but you'll be able to see the photos. (I think you can see my maternity photos too).

Sammy's Newborn Photos

And here is some randomness. Snuggles, bath time, and just plain cute! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

My heart is touched!

I am amazed. One that anyone has ever READ this blog outside of family, and two, that there are people out there who have been excitedly awaiting my post about Samuel's arrival! WOW...I'm honored and touched! THANK YOU for sharing in our life's story!! How did you ever find us???

Life is a whirlwind!! Whirlwind of excitement, busyness, emotion, and of course DIAPERS. I literally sit in awe, weeping, that THIS is MY child. Here to stay! Not for me to give back to someone! MY CHILD!! Oh praise you my Lord! I don't know quite how to put into words how thankful and overflowing my heart and soul are!

In fact, I'm sitting here in tears as I type this, listening to my darling husband debate with Sammy that a slightly dirty diaper is not that bad, and he really shouldn't cry so loud because he's not REALLY that wet. As funny as it sounds, it fills my heart! My life long dream has come true!! I'm a mommy! And that silly hubby of mine is a daddy...To an absolutely beautiful miracle!!

Tears I guess are just a fact of life these days. My heart is just so full it must overflow somewhere. But not just tears of joy and gratitude, but tears for those I have "left behind" by becoming a mom. Those whom I love dearly, who yet to hold their precious little ones in their hands. They are not far from my mind. Even in the hustle and bustle of a new baby, I'm still hurting and begging God to bring THEIR miracle as well. And a lot of "why me God? What did I do to deserve this precious gift?". I still wish God would give just a tad bit of insight on this journey, mine, my friends, my family. Why 7 years for us? Why 10 for others? and why never for some...

See I'm all a mess. But as I put my little boy down to bed tonight, and sang a church hymn I've only ever sang to other people's kids, that I've wondered if I'd ever get to sing to my child, my heart rejoices in all this. And I praise Him in all things. God is still good, as my heart overflows, and other hearts break, God is still good. Maybe its our turn to bring hope...

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

The arrival of our Miracle....

Forgive me for not posting more since January. The last few weeks of my pregnancy were quite difficult and long, and I pretty much came home and crashed each evening...However, pregnancy is behind me as our son has arrived!!!

It has been a WHIRLWIND of a week!!! Sammy made an early appearance at 38wks...First the important stuff:

Samuel Russell MacIntosh
Born 2/25/11 at 2:01pm
7 lbs 10 oz, 20 in long

I went in last Thursday 2/24 to my doc as usual. Was excited to make it my last day of work on Friday b/c I was BURNT!~ He did all the normal stuff, non-stress test was fine, biophysical profile u/s was perfect, BP was up a bit 130/90 but outside of a headache, felt like a normal day. Baby was high still, only started effacing, no dilation, but seeing as I had 2 weeks to go, I had plenty of time to make progress. Then they checked my urine. 2+ protein. Well that grounded me, no more work, and he was worried b/c I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia. He drew labs and if they were funky, baby would come on Fri by C-Section (CS), if OK, then we'd see about starting an induction on Monday or Tuesday.

Yea, didn't make it to Monday...

Cried all the way home, didn't want the CS, scared of the CS, wanted something NORMAL for once. Stinkin' IF made everything cold and medical, wanted something to be natural, but also want healthy baby...Just was hard. Thankfully mom came to the rescue as always! Gave me an outlet to cry it out, discuss my fears, and just come to the acceptance that a CS may be what we need, but whatever gets Sammy here safe is what is important. So we went to our final birth class which ironically was about CS's...And went home for the night to hydrate and put my footsies up. (I swelled quite a bit my last 4 weeks)

About 10pm I noticed my head was really hurting, just laying on the couch on my side, not feeling quite right. So silly nurse me too my BP. Yea I went through 3 different cuffs b/c I wasn't believing what I was seeing. Unfortunately i was getting 170-180/100's. Um, not good. Called my OB and of course they told us to go to the hospital. Poor Matt was just getting a cold and had only gone to bed an hour before, had to wake him up and tell him we had to get a move on!! I was NOT prepared, didn't have a bag packed or anything. I figured I'd have another week of chillin' at home to get ready for Sammy. HA, NOT.

We arrived at the hospital just before midnight, my admitting BP was 230/110, they immediately turned off all lights, laid me on my side, drew boat loads of labs and wouldn't let me up to do anything. Scary stuff. OB was called and came in and we made the decision to go ahead and delivery Sammy on that day (Friday)...I have to tell you, my OB is fabulous, he knew what to say and how to get me ready to go and I knew that God would keep us in His hands. (My OB is a christian and just outstretched hand of God!) God blessed us with the perfect staff member for every situation we went through. Our nurses just ROCKED!!

I digress. Anyway they put me on a magnesium drip and prepped for surgery, and at 2:01pm on Friday, Sammy was born. His head got STUCK in my belly and took a vacuum and another doctor laying across my belly to push him out the CS opening. Good heavens, I think they were moving furniture! He had a lot of respiratory difficulty when he was born and was taken to the nursery right away. All though I did get to see him for a moment and take a picture of our new family of 3. Matt went with him and got to cut the cord and all that fun daddy stuff.

He stayed in the nursery for several hours to get his lungs under control needed a lot of o2 and stimulation to get him going, but then he perked right up. I was left on the Mag til 24 hrs post CS. Oh my awful drug. I was not allowed up, I couldn't get up, I couldn't feed, I couldn't change him, he wasn't allowed to stay in the room with us, couldn't do anything you are supposed to do when your little one arrives. Thankfully the nurses would literally just come and latch him so he could do breast feeding (BF). It was a ROUGH 24 hrs post CS. I melted down on Saturday morning, but my hubby and mom stepped up and have been just taking care of me and caring for everything I needed. The mag did exactly what it was supposed to do, kept me healthy, prevent seizures and strokes, but oh its a hard road!! Its amazing w/in an hour of coming off the mag, the smoke faded, I could think clear, my grip and muscle strength came back! It was like the song "i can see clearly now the rain is gone".

Thankfully Sam got better respiratory wise and Saturday I went off the Mag, so it slowly got better after that. He was finally allowed to stay with us all day on Sunday. I was up and moving around and everything was just better. I finally got to snuggle and love on my little man all I wanted.

We were finally able to come home on Monday, my BP settled and the pre-eclampsia went away. Phew. My doctor told me later that he was scared to death, b/c I was so hypertensive he thought I'd have a seizure or a stroke...And lemme say how happy I am that I have a proactive doc that saw me twice a week! Probably saved my life! i wouldn't have been diagnosed until this past Monday if I saw him only weekly b/c the Monday before I'd been fine. God is good! He has definitely guided us through this journey every step of the way.

So we are getting used to our routine (ha, as if that exists yet). And sleep deprivation is a way of life. But oh he is so precious and beautiful and I'm just humbled by this gift! I can not believe he is HERE! And in my arms, healthy and precious. So sorry this was long. Who knew this day would come? Seven years, 7 months, countless tests, surgeries, procedures, hormones, heartache, tears, devastation, hope and prayer. Our God has given us this blessing. What a miracle! Samuel: Asked of God. Is that not the truth??? God has heard my prayer and answered with a miracle!!! I'm so humbled.

Thank you for all of you who have stood by us through this journey. We may have come to the end of this journey, but I believe we are now just starting a new one! The road OF parenthood! I can only continue to praise God in all things, and thank Him. What an overwhelming amount of emotion that is just bursting from inside me!!!

So with that, I'll leave you with a couple of pictures of our precious new addition. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Counting down...

Hello my dear friends. I apologize for not writing. It seems that I've been in this place of just listening, being, and reflecting. My mind has been empty of words!! Strange isn't it?? HA! A friend shared with me that she went through the same thing when she became preggie with her twins after IVF. That she felt God just leading her to be still.

Maybe its the years of going going going, trying to reach/attain this goal of mommy hood, hurting, grieving, anger, excitement, hope, tears, disappointment. Just this on going whirl wind of emotion and drive, that when that final "goal" was reached, I needed to stop and take a breath, and rest in the miracle God has given us. Don't know if that makes sense or not.

So basically, it has made me quiet. I haven't journaled, blogged, written ANYTHING. Just been going day to day enjoying what time I have with Sammy while he is in me, before he turns our lives upside down outside of me!

Pregnancy wise we are doing good. I'm 34 weeks and 4 days today. Its truly a miracle! Sammy is healthy and active, growing LARGER by the day. Overall I'm feeling OK. Very tired, some swelling and annoying headaches, but no signs of preterm labor, no issues, proceeding on schedule. Dr. V is pleased with how everything is going. He is being extremely cautious, monitoring us very closely so that if anything DOES change, he can jump on it. Praise God for Him giving me a cautious doc that can calm my fears without me even saying a word. So concerned about things happening at the very end, yet God has brought peace of mind through an amazing OB.

We had maternity photos taken last weekend. I do not have them yet but promise to post when I do!! I can NOT wait to see them!!! I've seen teasers only! And now I have to wait patiently for the rest. Pooh, don't like to be patient! Hee hee. Our long awaited shower is this Saturday. We have friends and family coming from all over!! We are blessed!! So many people are wanting to be a part of this, have BEEN a part of this journey, and are ready to celebrate the arrival of this miracle!! Matt and I are just in awe and humbled by the generosity and the blessings that are flowing over us!! God is just so good and merciful!

Nursery is coming along as well. Getting painted next week, new blinds, and final touches. The "grandma's" have been awesome in helping to get organized, and get everything ready to go for Sammy! All the final stuff is coming together~!

We start birthing classes on Thursday (that will be HILARIOUS to see Matt's face!! heh heh, he has no clue) and I continue to see my OB 2 x week. Movin' along!

Well that is it for an update. Sorry its not much, like I said I'm in a dry spell for writing. Please know how grateful we are for all of you, your prayers, support, love and blessings. This journey, even in the heartbreaking times, has brought such joy because of the awesome people God has brought into our lives!! Even through infertility, we are blessed!! And I have to say, that I'd walk this journey over and over, to have the people in our life that have been our rocks. And we just want to say THANK YOU. Well pictures will come next post! Have a blessed day in the Lord!!

Forgive me for my long absense...

I have just been a bad unmotivated blogger!! BAD ME. I'm so sorry to those faithful readers who have been keeping up on what is going on in the Mac Household....

Baby update...I'm 26 weeks pregnant!! Amazing isn't it? I'm getting rather round and large, Sammy is growing just as he should. He is healthy and thriving and everything is going according to plan. The house is, well, a mess and no where ready for a baby, but I'm hoping in time that will change. I still marvel at the miracle growing inside of me. It is REALLY real, he truly exists inside me! And he makes himself evident by using my bladder as his own personal trampoline. :-) We are abundantly blessed.

We are getting ready for Christmas. Our tree is up and I'm going for the 5th annual cookie sweatshop this weekend. I can't wait! It will be a blast. My friend H has her little almost 6 month old baby girl and I'll have my 6 1/2 month belly....Who ever knew that we would be here, celebrating the birth of our saviour together and the existence of our children. OUR children! MY CHILD. Wow, it just overwhelms me!!! GOD IS GOOD!

I was reading my online friend, Thelma's, blog. She swiped a post and I swiped it from her...It just touched my heart. Its a little long but worth the read. Its a powerful reminder of our need to thank God in the blessings, and in the storms. Because without the storms, we'd never see the promise of a rainbow. And that in the end, He ALWAYS remains faithful and merciful. And I praise Him for that. I am not worth of the blessings God has brought into my life. Have a blessed day in the Lord. Enjoy...

The Blessing of Thorns
Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose annual holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.

"Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I...I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra, "for Thanksgiving?"

"Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys gratitude this Thanksgiving?

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. " Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses.

Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped...there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers!?! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please." Barbara replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right...I cut off the flowers. That's the Special... I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that?" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband, "continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel.

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never thought to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement... twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?

"No...I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks to Him for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too... fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?" asked Sandra.

"Nothing." said the clerk. "Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you'd like to read it first."

It read: "Dear God, I have never thanked you for my thorns. I have thanked you a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to you along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of your rainbow look much more brilliant."

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." ~ Hebrews 13:15&16

Happy 32nd Birthday!

to me!!!

And what a fabulous bday its been!!! Oh this is by far the best and forever bestest birthday ever!

I am, now, a double sweet 16 girl!! Hard to believe I'm 32 y/o!! I was inundated with "happy birthday's" and sweet words and just an overwhelming amount of love from friends and family!! It was a beautiful start to my day!

Not only that, today is the day we found out what this little bean is!!! This child did NOT want to cooperate (that shoulda been a clue to the sex right there! HA) So after 45 minutes of poking and prodding and moving and pushing my belly around, the tech was able to see a little present between the legs!! It's a BOY!!! We are so excited!! Samuel Russell MacIntosh should make his appearance in March of next year!! Funny how everyone was thinking GIRL GIRL GIRL except for a small handful of folks, and yet, its definitely BOY BOY BOY!!! I'm so excited and Matt is THROUGH THE ROOF crazy!!! We are blessed!!!

I'm having issues getting the u/s on the computer, but Sammy is 18w5d gestation right now!

So Matt and I were mean. I'll admit it, but it was a BLAST messing with mom and dad!!! (This being their first grandkid, we wanted to mess with their minds!!) We decided that we wanted to tease them and let them know that the kid did NOT cooperate and b/c of it we won't know for ANOTHER 4 weeks what we are having. (I know so cruel heh heh heh) My buddy H and I schemed up a plan, and she made us wonderful homemade cupcakes (they were DEVINE sister! let me tell you! THANK YOU!) and on them we wrote out "WE LIED ITS A ______" with letters to fill in the blank.











So of course we found out its a boy and I proceeded to call mom and just go on and on about how this kid didn't spread eagle and I'm so frustrated and upset and just laid it on thick. They took us out to dinner for my bday and we brought the cupcakes (with the BOY filling in the blank cupcakes) and gave it to the waiter for later. So continued our story of boo hoo and no sex known and blah blah and just laid it on thick. AND they fell for it HOOK LINE AND SINKER! HA!

So finally at dessert, i got the camera ready and out came the cupcakes in a little container and M/D helped open it up and dad is reading, and studying and all of a sudden goes " WE LIED ITS A BOY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" and this is the picture we got!!!











Oh it was fantastic! Not a dry eye around and even the waiters and other customers were teary eyed!! It was just fantastic!! Lots of smiles and excitement!! It was just so much fun!!! So here they are holding their GRANDSON'S pictures!!!











I hope you enjoyed!!! As always thank you for all your prayers and support!! It has just been fabulous and such a blessing in our life! We are so honored to now SHARE WITH YOU the miracle of our BABY SON!! God is good!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

15 Weeks!!! :-)

Hello my fellow blog folk!!!

Can you believe it? I am officially one week into my SECOND TRIMESTER!!! God is so good. And this is still so surreal! I'm just in awe day by day that I truly am pregnant and the desire of our hearts is really a part of me right now!!! I'm so grateful to God for this little one that is growing inside of me!!! I'm still just so humbled that God said YES and brought on this blessing!!!

I'm feeling pretty good, getting there. Still very very tired, but able to eat! :-) hee hee. Thankfully I'm still about 10lbs under from where I started. I saw my OB yesterday. Baby is GREAT, BP was GREAT, my weight is the same as it was 4 weeks ago (all tho I'd lost like 4 lbs and have gained that back) So I'm still breaking even for them which is good, no gain in 4 weeks. However I believe that is about to change! HA! OB was VERY pleased and just tickled pink with how I'm progressing. He's such a sweetie!!! Just unreal that this is happening!! But it gets a little more real each time I go and hear that heartbeat!!!

HR was 160-170. I recorded the heartbeat, its so cool!! hee hee... then I texted it to everyone!! Well those who would care about hearing Jr.'s heartbeat! HA. It is locked in the computer but I have been unsuccessful in uploading it to the blog!! Sorry folks but I tried! I have no idea how to get a sound byte on to blogger!

So that's pretty much it. I'm slowly trying to work my way through the closets and clean stuff out and get ready to move the house around to make room for baby. One project at a time. Thankfully we still have about 6 months! Even then I don't think we'll be ready for this one 100%. But we'll see. ;-)

That is all for now! Nothing else new to report! Have a blessed day in the Lord!