Friday, October 9, 2009

My Bday dinner.

So we went out tonight with about 20 something family and friends to Longhorn's to celebrate my bday!!! It was so much fun, and the food was fabulous! The waiters screwed up our bills and it took an hour and a half to sort, but you know our family, we just kept chillin' and talkin'!!!

It was so much fun and I feel so loved! Thank you everyone!!! Its going to be a weekend long celebration! :) My bday is actually on Monday, (31 YIKES!!!) but I'm all about celebrating for more then a day... hee hee.

Really I had a ton of fun. It just touched my heart that I have so many people who love me and care for me and wanted to share that time with me!!! I do have some pictures and I will post them later, as for now I'm going to bed as I am on call this weekend. (I wasn't thinking very clearly when I made the schedule. OOPS!!!)

Hope all is well with everyone. I'm hoping my followers will come back as I'm trying to write more! I promise!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sunday, Sunday...

So as you can see, I've been fiddling around with my blog!! What do you think?? I love the pictures at the top, our desire, our hope, our prayer. Just looked cool to me, and the background just went with it so very nicely!!!

Life is BUSY! B-U-S-Y, BUSY! But good. Matt and I are doing well. We just celebrated our 7th year of marriage!! Its so hard to believe. So much time has passed...We are doing well tho. The Deeper Still conference was absolutely AMAZING! A beautiful time of worshiping God and growing in his word!! It was truly a blessed time!!! Food for my weary soul!! Then we had this amazing worship this weekend at church!! Its our 25th anniversary at church and we did 25 years of Worship. So we went through all the years of music and CD's and just worshiped God all evening! So fabulous!! Then Matt and I came home and we listened to our new CD from church and worshiped some more!!! Just a good ol' fashioned soul feedin'!

So I figured I'd post some pics from the weekend revival:

All the girls














Me and my friend M














Me and my friend S














S and M being their cute selves!













The three of us!!














And these are the pics from our anniversary outing with our friends J & R. It was their anniversary on the 18th and R's bday was the same as our anny, so we had tons to celebrate. We went to the melting pot and had a GRAND time!!! These are the flowers Matt sent me at work! They are still going strong 2 weeks later!!! (well 2 weeks tomorrow) Aren't they purdy? And then the pics of our anny outing!














R and J




























All of us














The fondue chocolate we got. It was YUMMY














R blowing our her candle


















Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hello blog land...

Wow work is NUTS and busy crazy cukoo! And Matt and I have just been trying to, well, deal...Work is good for Matt and for me... (did I mention he got his full time position back??? WOOT WOOT! PRAISE GOD!) And things have been very positive, feeling very blessed. And praising God for it...Hmm what else. OH I have a new Auntie. And she lives in AUSTRALIA! Long story short...while my Bepa (dad's dad) was stationed in Malta ions ago, my aunt was produced. Anyway, she found us through FACEBOOK of all places. So several weeks and a DNA test later, it is proven that she is a half sister to my dad and his 5 siblings!!! Well we are having a reunion in NC for Thanksgiving and everyone is coming, including our new auntie!! She was able to get a Visa and she will be flying in to visit for a month or two! Now that the shock has settled, we are extremely excited to meet this new member of our family!!! What a miraculous way for God to have her find us!!! It should be a blast. My blessed new boss (and friend) is giving me the Friday after TG so I can fly up and be with my family. Unfortunately Matt will be stuck working, but we plan on a BBQ and lots of visits while Auntie is down here...Interesting times!!!

And yet there is always that little monkey wrench that throws a kink in the peace. Annoying, right? I had a very positive IF week. I actually held and loved on a little 4 day old baby boy (AND was the only one in my office to get him quiet being he wanted momma and she wasn't around). I was so proud of myself that I did well...Then I freaking crashed and BURNED...And this weekend just brought the walls tumbling all around me...Deep deep hole of sadness...and hurt...and brokenness. SIGH... :(

But through the sadness, and some difficult moments, Matt and I are talking more, trying to work through the pain together...Its a good thing. We are quite blessed to have our Exec. Pastor at church to be understanding and caring and empathetic. I've told you before how he has gone through this journey. And I can drop him a line out of no where, and he will turn around and write me back quickly, pray for us, hold us, and support us in this journey. What a blessing he is in our lives, a true God-send. He has been very helpful pulling my head out of this hole this weekend. Our bible study "huddle" too. We are blessed with the people God has dropped into our lives to walk with us on this journey.

Anyway, nothing real specific right now, just ramblings. I'm leaving to go to Orlando tomorrow after work. I'm meeting with some of my good friends and going to the Life Way women's conference with Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. I'm SO looking forward. A weekend away, a weekend with praise and worship and encouragement. Sounds like a plan to me!! I'm praying for God to soothe some of my hurt like a balm to my weary soul and encourage my heart this weekend. I'm hoping.

I'll have to post some pics after the trip...And maybe give you a more understandable post! My brain is just all over the place!!! LOL forgive me my faithful readers...OK off to bed, I have to get up EARLY tomorrow to pack up the car!!! And then go to work. BLEH. :D Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Difficult, emotional day

I don't know why this month is hitting me so hard, maybe its anniversary of Oma's passing, maybe its the just passing 6 years of IF, maybe its b/c our 7th anniversary is coming up, then my 31st bday, then Matt's 33rd bday, maybe its just b/c another year has come, and gone, with nothing to show for it except increased disappointment and more heartache and tears...

Dunno...

I've been very weepy today. I'm not even due for my period yet, like another week and a half to go...Just frustrated and tired, and sick of being let down month after month, even tho my brain knows it probably will never happen on its own, my heart gets hopeful each month...grrr. so stupid of me.

I know that this probably has something to do with it as well...My dear dear IF girlfriend is on her way to Israel as we speak. Its pretty amazing (and I'm HIGHLY jealous that I'm not with her! :) ) So I had jokingly said that she can go to the wailing wall on both our behalves, not thinking she actually could...Do you know that she has a prayer for Matt and I and our desires and yearning to be parents, and she is going to put it in the wailing wall and intercede on our behalf? Its so neat to think, that in one of the oldest, holiest places, the place that is known as the direct ear to heaven, that my beloved friend is going to bring our desire, our dreams, our heartache, our sadness and lay it before the Lord!!??!! Its just so amazing to me. Now I know that Jesus gave us that bridge that separates us from God so that he can hear us directly, no need for a priest in the Holy of Holies, I'm just speaking based on tradition. Its a holy and sovereign place, and my prayer will be placed there. Just overwhelms me, its an amazing thought. So that is adding to my tearful day (that and a bad day at work)...

I know I'm rambling nonsense. I'm just feeling so honored that my friend would do this for us, intercede on our behalf, and I know that she doesn't even have to ask me what to say, she could pray it verbatim, without even a peep from me...Its pretty neat, I think.

I try to keep my emotions in control, not let IF take control of who I am and what I desire. Most of the time, I succeed, but today I'm struggling...and prayers are appreciated.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Long time...

Lots to update!! So I was talking with my long time friend Jen and she informed me I was slacking in my writing. She is, of course, right. It has been a MONTH and what a while month its been!!!

So a lot of it I haven't written about b/c I needed to make it official first. The district had cut the nurses to 33hr/wk. something absolutely not do-able for us!! And they cut our insurance making it cost more out of pocket for us as well. So I'd been trying to figger out what to do. Well, about a month ago at the home health agency I was working for, I was offered a job. A REALLY good job! I am now the Clinical Supervisor for my agency! Its a 40 hr week job M-F with a nice pay increase! So as of this past Thursday, I resigned from the Health Care District. I am no longer a school nurse! It was and is hard to leave the kids, and my staff. I LOVED my staff. But it was definitely the right move! After all I went through with them, this is where I'm meant to be! It is truly a blessing for us!

Also this month we bought a car for me!! The Kia bit the dust, and we were able to finance a vehicle I could afford!!! (and literally 4 days later the job offer came! GO GOD with timing!) Its a candy apple red Toyota Rav4. Its GORGEOUS. See pics below! :)

Let's see what else. OH. Remember how Matt and I had written a letter to Apple, fighting back for his demotion b/c we felt it wasn't done fair? That was back in like, May or April I believe. I was on a rampage then! Fighting my district with legal help, fighting Matt's company for unfair demotion. Anyway, Matt had a meeting with them this past Tuesday. Well his HR guy found Matt's boss to be in the WRONG and at fault and re-instated Matt to FULL TIME with BENEFITS!!! HOORAY! So He is back to full time! I'm so happy for him!! Again, GOD IS GOOD!

SO that is all the good fun going on! Its been a crazy summer! Good for the most part. Full of blessings. I can not even TELL you the relief from all these blessings! Safe car, safe jobs, income coming in!

I've been in an IF funk for lack of a better term. But that is a post for another day. Now, I have to go to bed and sleep b/c tomorrow I go back to my new full time job!! Lots to catch up on for missing 3 days!! :)

Have a blessed day in the Lord! (OO car pics below)





























Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Lots of thoughts in my brain...

No real anything...

So bear with me...

Been a strange couple of days. I feel like I've been "fighting off" PI. Like fighting an infection. Just a tickle, an sniffle, a random thought here and there trying to bring me down the PI BLAHS...

Example, I was reading on FB yesterday, and one of my acquaintance friends (my bro's friend actually) is PG with #3...Now their first is 2 1/2, second JUST turned one, and this was an OOPSIE. She was online complaining about how "such a little thing can zap all the energy out of you. I just want my life back" type comment.

Now I seriously was ready to deck her over FB, and wanted to comment something along the lines of "I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat." "Must be nice to have that problem as I would give everything to be pregnant." You know, random "I'M TICKED" thoughts like that. Now I resisted (with Gods help) and its good that I did. B/c I drove to Wendy's to get a drink this AM, and who was in the car in front of me??? Said person and family....Can you imagine? I'da been mortified if I'd made a snide remark then see them in person the next day! I NEVER see them, very rarely....Phew, crisis averted...

So Mr. IF Monster is rearing his ugly head. I'm TRYING to not let it get to me, b/c nothing is finite. I don't know how my journey or story will end. I'M TRYING, but not doing so well. SIGH. I'm trying to walk the path before me and have God show me where this all leads.

So I'll share with you what I'm learning. We are doing this IF devotional (Matt and I) and we're just getting into it, but the devo from last night was on Psalm 40. Have you ever read that? Its amazing (to me anyway)....And I pray it holds truth for our IF along with the rest of our life's blessings....It keeps showing up in our IF life...Maybe God is trying to show me something. Here let me show it to you...

Psalm 40 (New Living Translation)

Psalm 40
For the choir director: A psalm of David.

1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.

4 Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,
who have no confidence in the proud
or in those who worship idols.
5 O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them.

6 You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand[a]—
you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.
7 Then I said, “Look, I have come.
As is written about me in the Scriptures:
8 I take joy in doing your will, my God,
for your instructions are written on my heart.”

9 I have told all your people about your justice.
I have not been afraid to speak out,
as you, O Lord, well know.
10 I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;
I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
I have told everyone in the great assembly
of your unfailing love and faithfulness.

11 Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles surround me—
too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
I have lost all courage.

13 Please, Lord, rescue me!
Come quickly, Lord, and help me.
14 May those who try to destroy me
be humiliated and put to shame.
May those who take delight in my trouble
be turned back in disgrace.
15 Let them be horrified by their shame,
for they said, “Aha! We’ve got him now!”

16 But may all who search for you
be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”
17 As for me, since I am poor and needy,
let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
You are my helper and my savior.
O my God, do not delay.

Now for those who know me, know US, has god not shown us amazing blessings? Just rocked us with shocking WOW times, right??? Verse 5 just totally is a psalm of "us". I love this psalm, it may be one of my new life "verses"...I pray that verse 3 is that the miracle will happen and those who are around to see it, will know the ONLY WAY was that God stepped in and intervened...

Again I know I'm rambling. Lots of thoughts in my brain tonight. No real rhyme or reason. The last thing that totally captured me yesterday was a title note for this book/chapter of Psalms: DOING GOD'S WILL SOMETIMES MEANS WAITING PATIENTLY...

Yea don't know about you but that hit me square between the eyes. So my soon to be 6 year IF brain has been working on all of this. I'm trying to seek the joy and hope in the midst of the trial and heartache. Easier said then done.

I don't' know if I'll ever be a mom...And the idea that I won't, is heart breaking and more then I can handle at times. But I know that in the midst of this journey, I need to find and learn and grow as much as I possibly can...Because like that childhood song I used to sing, "God is not through with me yet". And thank God for the grace to fall down, screw up, and fail, and a God to pick me back up put me right again, and guide me to the next place.

Definitely an interesting week. Have a blessed day in the Lord...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Busy Crazy!!!

So I've been a busy little beaver! EEK!!! Work has me running in a 1000 different directions, but the paycheck is very very nice! :) I'm really enjoying what I am doing, and that is just so nice!! I'm receiving high praise from them and they are working me to death because they have decided I'm a good nurse! YAY! I like making good impressions!

Matt is back to work as of this past Friday. The store re-opened and things seem to be going well. He is just as busy but glad to be doing something again! We didn't strangle each other while he was home, so that's a good thing. Quite frankly I had no time! I was working like crazy!

My work was nice enough to give me this last Sat-Tue off of work. I was able to hang with my H2 Girls (happy hour girls! hee hee) S and J. We went to Astor (Small town outside of Daytona) with some girlfriends. We stayed in a house on S's parents property. It was so calm and relaxing! They have tons of wildlife, 'coons, squirrels, wild turkey, deer, cranes, and even BEAR!!! The deer come up to their back yard and eat every night, it is amazing!!! We went out on the water and took pictures of turtles. I got some great pictures. We relaxed and enjoyed the time away, even spent a day in St. Augustine, and toured Ponce Inlet Lighthouse. S's sis in law L joined us for part of our trip! I could have stayed another 10 days without any problem, but alas, I have bills to pay and a job was waiting for me!!! It was a blast. I'm so grateful for the time away! So below I'll share some pictures.

So we are having a BBQ at mom's house for the 4th, and we plan on setting of some very nice fireworks that we bought in South Carolina on our way home from vacation. We have family and friends coming and I'm so looking forward to it! I have to work, but I'll be off in plenty of time! No big deal!!!

OK well gotta go to bed, have a crazy day of admissions tomorrow (and crazy patients based on the conversations I've already had with them! EEK) Hope everyone is well and ENJOY celebrating the birth of our Nation! Happy 4th of July!!! Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Us on top of the fort in St Augustine (S, J, and me)














All four of us...














Me snugglin' with the sheriff!! LOL














Us with the guards of the fort...














Deer running away in the backyard...I was watching this from my bedroom window!














Cranes. These guys are LOUD and obnoxious!














More Deer.













On the boat...J and Me














Ponce Inlet Lighthouse














I love these pics of the Lighthouse. They are very cool, if I do say so myself.




































J and me in front of the lighthouse sign