Just a pic...

Our anniversary photo from last night! We had a blast and stayed out until after MIDNIGHT! Wow we are such rebels!! But man, I'm TIRED TODAY!!! We're both dragging like crazy!!! I remember when we used to stay out all night without any problem, now I want to be in bed by 8pm!!!! OH WELL, guess we're getting old!

Have a blessed day in the LORD!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

TO US!

It is our 5th anniversary today! Hard to belive that 5 years has come and gone, but then again some days it feels like 10 years have come and gone!! LOL

We are going out to Dave and Busters to celebrate tonight! Should be fun! We'll have dinner there and then just relax and play games and have FUN!! We need some fun!!

I have to say, when I was walking down that isle 5 years ago to see my handsome man standing at the end of the isle, I remember feeling that I was walking into a new life with a man sent directly from God. And now, 5 years later, I know it to be SO TRUE!! Matt is such a blessing in my life and I thank God for him every day!!! I'm truly blessed!

Have a blessed day in the LORD!

Hangin' in there...

Not really anything new to report. I'm slowly but surely getting over our BFN (big fat negative). I'm still pretty sad that the answer to our request was NO, AGAIN. *sigh* BUT we are moving on. Well moving on to a break that is!!! Just too worn out from this craziness!!! Spirtially, emotionally, physically, relationally....So a break is a good thing!

We are creeping up to our 5th anniversary! Hard to believe it will be 5 years on Friday!!! So cool! But man we have blown back and forth through our vows 10 times already!!! But it's OK b/c we are stronger in our marriage for it! As hard and challenging and live altering as our infertility has been, it has brought matt and I closer then I think we would ever be. There is something about sharing sadness and disappointment, to strengthen ones marriage! We just keep praying the ONE DAY God will give us a YES!!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Another Cycle

Another disappointment...Unfortunately this cycle was also negative. We are devestated, heartbroken, angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed, and other words I'll choose to not say on this lovely site! :)

This road we are traveling gets very tiring very quickly!! *sigh* So no baby for us again. Its funny how you try not to hope, you try to pretend that you KNOW it's gonna be negative, therefore its fine, I'm fine, no tears. Yeah right. Cried myself to sleep in Matt's arms last night. Even just the tad bit of mustard seed hope, and I feel crushed beyond belief...

This is definitly a time of faith testing for us! I don't understand why God allows teens and drug addicts to conceive precious gifts, when they could CARE less and don't even want them. Or the families with 17 children!! I just want ONE, and they have 17!! YOWSA (and OUCH comes to mind too!). I desire to be a mom, to bring a child life and teach them Christ and love them for all time. But I'm denied. It's very difficult place to be. Very hard to stay afloat in my faith when I'm hurting so much.

While matt was holding me last night, he just kept telling me that he will love me anyway. He loves me whether we have a child or not. He just kept saying that over and over. I will love you any way, no matter what. (Sweet isn't he?)

I know that I need to say the same thing to Jesus, "I will love you anyway, whether you give us a child or not". But today, is just to hard of a day. I'm trying. But today, I'm not succeeding.

We're taking a break for now. Going to go back to basics. Take matt to the urologist again, see if the surgery maybe caused some kind of blockage or damage?? See why he has gotten WORSE and not better over the last two years. And again, we'll just celebrate the holidays with our family. Another year, another season with empty arms. It's amazing how EMPTY arms can be a heavy burden to carry.

Please keep us in prayers.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Time to buy the CABINETS!

YAY! OK, so I go today after work to the wonderful HOME DEPOT to buy $4000 in cabinets! YOWSA!! Actually we will just make final payment and finalization of them today...So we should be seeing them just after my Birthday (Oct. 12 for those who don't know). :)

YAY YAY YAY!~!! Can I jsut say I'm so excited to get the ball finally ROLLIN' down the river!!!! Oh my goodness!!

So demo in about a month or so, then we will NOT have a working kitchen until about Thanksgiving! YOWSA!!! But it's all good and it will be WORTH it in the long run!!! Hip hip HOORAY!

So short and sweet today! Have a blessed day in the LORD!

Happy Monday

Hi to all those faithful readers! LOL!! HA..

WE ARE HOME! well actually we've been home for a couple of weeks, just been busy. It's been relatively quiet the last few days! YAY!! So not much new going on. We are waiting on the cabinets to come in (Some time in mid October) so that we can start demo of our kitchen! YAY! Then we'll have to order countertops, and THAT takes a few weeks to come in. THEN we'll be done! YAY! All in all we should be done before Christmas with the kitchen remodel! YAY!!!

Matt had his follow up testing from being in the hospital, and everything came back NORMAL! YAY! I'm so glad, not that I suspected tumor or anything but you always just wonder. We are currently waiting and hoping and find out soon if we have a miracle on the way. All though I'm not holding on to much hope...This cycle was very poor, and I'm trying not to get hopes to high, so I'm not crashing so much on the way down...Hurts a lot less when the falls not to far from the ground!

I've also been missing OMA, and thinking and dreaming a lot about her. Matt and I were in a sentimental mood and watched our wedding video. And there was Oma, BEAUTIFUL as always, but so very healthy!! Picture of Christ in her. It was neat looking at everyone else too. Matt thinks it is strange to see himself walking b/c it's been so long since he really has! It is kind of weird. Seems like a dream, him walking. It feels like I've always known him in the Chair. Id ont' care either way, he is still cute to me and the love of my life!! :)

Our anniversary is coming up, hard to believe 5 years have come and gone! hee hee...Dunno what we will do, probably nuttin, just movies, dinner, that kind of thing. If you think about it, keep matt in Prayers. He is due for a promotion at work and has worked hard for it. We will know soon! HE is excited and hopeful! AND deserves it!

Well I guess I should get to work. Must make sure these little ones are all good! Have a blessed day in the Lord!