So quick update first:
THE IV PICC LINE IS OUT! WE ARE DONE WITH IV ANTIBIOTIC THERAPY!!!! After 13 weeks of therapy we are DONE!!! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!
OK. So I keep getting tagged with these silly things, so here is the newest one...
So, here goes!
Ten Years Ago I...
1. was 20y/o
2. in college doing pre-req's for nursing school
3. working at Eckerd's in all the departments, and then McDonald's on the side to pay for school.
4. Still lived at home with my parents
5. had not yet met the love of my life!
5 Things on today's "to-do" list (well really tomorrow b/c the last thing to do tonight is SLEEP)
1. Get up (that's a biggie)
2. Get dressed (another biggie)
3. Go to work (this is a tedious one)
4. Make it through the work day and come home (you worn out yet?)
5. Go back to sleep to start it all over again.
5 Snacks I enjoy
1. white cheddar popcorn (I like this one Scotti I'm stealing it!)
2. cheese and crackers
3. Chocolate, most types
4. Fruit salad
5. chips and onion dip
5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire
1. tithe the first 10% to God's family
2. pay off all debts
3. help family pay off debts
4. invest in a home that is accessible for our family
5. IVF to try for a baby
5 Places I have lived
1. Winfield, WV
2. West Palm Beach, FL
3. Royal Palm Beach, FL
4. Wellington, FL
5. Um yea that's it!
5 Jobs that I have had
1. worked as my mom's assistant in her cleaning business
2. McDonald's
3. Eckerd's drug store (hey Scotti we share one!)
4. Tech and records management at a visual health care center
5. Pediatric Nurse (or more specifically currently a School Nurse)
I'm now supposed to tag some folks, but I dunno who! So someone else do this. Um, let's see, Danielle, Shelley, and um Carolyn. Yea that sounds good!!!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Birthday Pics...
My Parents, before sitting down to eat..
My Bro and Sister in law
Our Crazy but fun friends, R and J ( a little too much sangria! hee hee) Oh but SO MUCH FUN!
Matt getting Happy Birthday in Italian
A group Photo of all of us.
Outside in front of the fountain you really can't see...
We tried to get a good photo of the "young ones" but my mom doesn't like to count down before taking the photo!!! LOL
FINALLY!!!! Scuse my funky hair, it was a HUMID day!!!
OK the birthday cake at the house that I made for Matt. Carrot cake with Cream Cheese Icing.
Playing with balloons!!
Blowing out the candles!!!
Can you see the haze from the smoke??? Wow that's a lot of candle smoke! he e hee
My Bro and Sister in law
Our Crazy but fun friends, R and J ( a little too much sangria! hee hee) Oh but SO MUCH FUN!
Matt getting Happy Birthday in Italian
A group Photo of all of us.
Outside in front of the fountain you really can't see...
We tried to get a good photo of the "young ones" but my mom doesn't like to count down before taking the photo!!! LOL
FINALLY!!!! Scuse my funky hair, it was a HUMID day!!!
OK the birthday cake at the house that I made for Matt. Carrot cake with Cream Cheese Icing.
Playing with balloons!!
Blowing out the candles!!!
Can you see the haze from the smoke??? Wow that's a lot of candle smoke! he e hee
Happy Birthday Matt!!!
So Matt is 32 today! we've actually had a very lovely weekend! Yesterday we went to church and then out to dinner with my parents, brother, sister in law, and our friend J and R. We went to Carrabba's and had a blast! It was so much fun! Let me tell you, get all of us together and add some sangria? It was hysterical. We chatted for over 3 hours and took a bunch of pics. I'll post them later b/c computer is slow!
Then today Matt had to work, so I decided to make him some dinner. Cooked a pot roast in the crock pot all day, and baked him a carrot cake with cream cheese icing! His parents are coming over to eat cake with us as well. So it will be nice! My man is gettin' old! :D OK not too old, but over all I think it was a lovely weekend!
I'm thrilled b/c I have tomorrow off from work! YAY I need a break! Its been bananas from work, so the day off will be nice! AND Matt is working so I have the house to myself!!
Well off to eat cake! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Then today Matt had to work, so I decided to make him some dinner. Cooked a pot roast in the crock pot all day, and baked him a carrot cake with cream cheese icing! His parents are coming over to eat cake with us as well. So it will be nice! My man is gettin' old! :D OK not too old, but over all I think it was a lovely weekend!
I'm thrilled b/c I have tomorrow off from work! YAY I need a break! Its been bananas from work, so the day off will be nice! AND Matt is working so I have the house to myself!!
Well off to eat cake! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
MIA...
a few days! It has been NUTS at work. Its only Wednesday and I've worked 3 hours of overtime already! And that is not counting today! OIY.
I've had some very serious, very disturbing stuff going on with a kid and some sexual abuse. It has absolutely knocked me from the inside out! Can you imagine what the kid and family are going through? Its just horrific to think what can occur in this world and will now forever shape this family!
I also had a kid I had to give EpiPen to for her anaphalaxis. That was the joyful fun of yesterday! I'm telling you its just been bonkers! It seems calmer today, not so stressed. I was able to finish up some paperwork this morning and I'm pretty caught up on everything! THANK THE LORD! But could really use a nap! Thankfully this weekend will be a 3 day weekend b/c we do NOT have to work on Monday! YAY.
Matt started back to work on Monday! WA HOO!!! Its only 15 hrs a week but HEY its a start! He has less then 1 week left with the Picc line and IV antibiotics. I can not tell you how happy I'll be to see them go!!! Him too! And he is on week 5 of 8 on HBOT. Home stretch people!!! HALLELUJAH!
Not much else going on. We got a new washer and dryer, (thank you!), and in the process of the lovely sears people putting it in, they flushed 22 year old rubber hose parts in to the main system clogging our sink and dishwasher. Thankfully we have a friend who is "all that and a bag o' chips" and was able to pull our system apart and repair the damage! For free no less! We are blessed to have them in our life! ☺
OK off to work, gotta help distribute swish to the kids. (Swish= flouride) Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!
I've had some very serious, very disturbing stuff going on with a kid and some sexual abuse. It has absolutely knocked me from the inside out! Can you imagine what the kid and family are going through? Its just horrific to think what can occur in this world and will now forever shape this family!
I also had a kid I had to give EpiPen to for her anaphalaxis. That was the joyful fun of yesterday! I'm telling you its just been bonkers! It seems calmer today, not so stressed. I was able to finish up some paperwork this morning and I'm pretty caught up on everything! THANK THE LORD! But could really use a nap! Thankfully this weekend will be a 3 day weekend b/c we do NOT have to work on Monday! YAY.
Matt started back to work on Monday! WA HOO!!! Its only 15 hrs a week but HEY its a start! He has less then 1 week left with the Picc line and IV antibiotics. I can not tell you how happy I'll be to see them go!!! Him too! And he is on week 5 of 8 on HBOT. Home stretch people!!! HALLELUJAH!
Not much else going on. We got a new washer and dryer, (thank you!), and in the process of the lovely sears people putting it in, they flushed 22 year old rubber hose parts in to the main system clogging our sink and dishwasher. Thankfully we have a friend who is "all that and a bag o' chips" and was able to pull our system apart and repair the damage! For free no less! We are blessed to have them in our life! ☺
OK off to work, gotta help distribute swish to the kids. (Swish= flouride) Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
So I've been tagged.
I was tagged by a friend today. The challenge of the tag? Write six things that make me happy. They are to be specific things and not generalities like "seeing my hubby" type stuff. So here ya go, in no particular order of importance...
1. The anticipation of a vacation and the planning of said vacation!!
2. Getting a pedicure with my girlfriend and just being pampered and doted on.
3. Watching my hubby try to make dinner and succeeding while I get to sit on the couch and relax!
4. GETTING or GIVING "S's". In my family an "s" is a surprise. A little something that you were given for no particular reason.
5. Making a difference in a child's life.
6. Watching my fur babies frolic and play, ALWAYS puts a smile on my face!
So now I get to tag some girls. I tag Shelley, Amy, Danielle B., Anita, Patti, and Carolyn. Even if you don't have a blog, sit down and figure out 6 things that make YOU happy!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!
1. The anticipation of a vacation and the planning of said vacation!!
2. Getting a pedicure with my girlfriend and just being pampered and doted on.
3. Watching my hubby try to make dinner and succeeding while I get to sit on the couch and relax!
4. GETTING or GIVING "S's". In my family an "s" is a surprise. A little something that you were given for no particular reason.
5. Making a difference in a child's life.
6. Watching my fur babies frolic and play, ALWAYS puts a smile on my face!
So now I get to tag some girls. I tag Shelley, Amy, Danielle B., Anita, Patti, and Carolyn. Even if you don't have a blog, sit down and figure out 6 things that make YOU happy!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Talk about a quick response...
So God has already dropped some steps in my lap, and I had to share!!!
So I come home from work in a sour mood. My wonderful hubby who working on rebuilding the strength in our marriage, God Love him...He made me dinner, Flank steak and home made mashed taters. Let me tell you some nummy comfort food! Anyway I come home bad mood, he let me be and I came to the computer to see an email from THE DOCTOR I wrote just this afternoon!!! ALREADY!! So cool..
Now when I tell you i wrote a novel, I WROTE A NOVEL...And he was so compassionate. Well as far as I knew, as of last year my current RE was the only one on my insurance plan, so if we did anything with this new RE it would be out of pocket. OH MY GOSH new RE informed me that HE IS ON MY HEALTH INSURANCE!!! OH MY GOODNESS!! And I checked just to be safe and HE TRULY IS!!! I'm like holy cow!!! So now I can consult with him and it won't cost anything. If it is truly IVF/ICSI we need, then fine, we will be established and I can save up. BUT I CAN do something! YAY...
So he recommended we get all our medical records together from our current RE, urologist, and my GYN, and set up an appt (which includes them needing to call my insurance and get a referral type thing) Can you believe it??
And it goes on, I get a response on my blog regarding my post. A friend of mine. She asks if by any chance I emailed Dr. R b/c even tho she isn't IF she goes for PCOS and other issues and he is FABULOUS and recommends him. ITS THE SAME DOCTOR! SO not only does he come with insurance approval, he comes with a recommendation! OH MY GOODNESS! So I'm all excited and telling Matt about it, and he is on board! HE told me to call tomorrow and make an appt!
I know that its not a miracle baby being put in my tum tum, but its a step, its something I can DO, I'm not going to just sit wondering when I can ever afford to even consult for IVF. I can just GO, talk to the man, maybe my insurance will give me some more IUI's (intrauterine insemination AKA Artificial insemination) with better coverage?? Who knows! Or he can help us with Matt's issues or mine!!! Its open possibilities! I haven't checked it in a year! I'm just blown away!! A year after closing a door, OUR GOD HAS FINALLY OPENED A WINDOW!!! I could CRY! (you know, some MORE tears, cuz I've already cried today, but these will be happy tears!)
I've been on emotional craze today, down in the pits, and now I'm all up in the sun! or should I say up in the SON... So that is my news! i will call the RE tomorrow and work on a consult! Matt and I are still on FMLA so it won't be too difficult to get some time off and keep my job protected...Its a STEP! YAY!!
OK I'm done now. Thanks if you've made it to this point! And thank you all who stand beside us during this crazy ride! Be blessed in our Lord!
So I come home from work in a sour mood. My wonderful hubby who working on rebuilding the strength in our marriage, God Love him...He made me dinner, Flank steak and home made mashed taters. Let me tell you some nummy comfort food! Anyway I come home bad mood, he let me be and I came to the computer to see an email from THE DOCTOR I wrote just this afternoon!!! ALREADY!! So cool..
Now when I tell you i wrote a novel, I WROTE A NOVEL...And he was so compassionate. Well as far as I knew, as of last year my current RE was the only one on my insurance plan, so if we did anything with this new RE it would be out of pocket. OH MY GOSH new RE informed me that HE IS ON MY HEALTH INSURANCE!!! OH MY GOODNESS!! And I checked just to be safe and HE TRULY IS!!! I'm like holy cow!!! So now I can consult with him and it won't cost anything. If it is truly IVF/ICSI we need, then fine, we will be established and I can save up. BUT I CAN do something! YAY...
So he recommended we get all our medical records together from our current RE, urologist, and my GYN, and set up an appt (which includes them needing to call my insurance and get a referral type thing) Can you believe it??
And it goes on, I get a response on my blog regarding my post. A friend of mine. She asks if by any chance I emailed Dr. R b/c even tho she isn't IF she goes for PCOS and other issues and he is FABULOUS and recommends him. ITS THE SAME DOCTOR! SO not only does he come with insurance approval, he comes with a recommendation! OH MY GOODNESS! So I'm all excited and telling Matt about it, and he is on board! HE told me to call tomorrow and make an appt!
I know that its not a miracle baby being put in my tum tum, but its a step, its something I can DO, I'm not going to just sit wondering when I can ever afford to even consult for IVF. I can just GO, talk to the man, maybe my insurance will give me some more IUI's (intrauterine insemination AKA Artificial insemination) with better coverage?? Who knows! Or he can help us with Matt's issues or mine!!! Its open possibilities! I haven't checked it in a year! I'm just blown away!! A year after closing a door, OUR GOD HAS FINALLY OPENED A WINDOW!!! I could CRY! (you know, some MORE tears, cuz I've already cried today, but these will be happy tears!)
I've been on emotional craze today, down in the pits, and now I'm all up in the sun! or should I say up in the SON... So that is my news! i will call the RE tomorrow and work on a consult! Matt and I are still on FMLA so it won't be too difficult to get some time off and keep my job protected...Its a STEP! YAY!!
OK I'm done now. Thanks if you've made it to this point! And thank you all who stand beside us during this crazy ride! Be blessed in our Lord!
I know its just a number...
But I'm bugging out on 30. I'm supposed to be a mom already!!! ARGH... I'm mad, and frustrated, and just down right sad about this whole IF life...I know its a number, but it was a GOAL. A goal I should have reached by now, that may never be reached. AND IT SUCKS!!
I'm tired of being stagnant, not moving, no where to go but to sit here and "take it". My friend posted on Facebook how she is breastfeeding her 11 day old daughter (child #3)...Talk about a punch in the gut! And you know, two of the nicest most deserving people! But again I ask, why not us? Or my friends, K & S, H & P, M & T (um no not us!), or S & D. WHY? Why not these lovely wonderful most deserving people? Why not us...
That is the never ending, never answered question isn't it?
I found myself googling RE's (reproductive endocrinologists) that are local. I have an RE but he is an hour away and has the personality of a toad and his office staff are just not very nice. They used to be, but now its all about the mighty dollar, and no one cares about the fact that you are hurting. So I found one in Wellington near us, and actually emailed the poor man a NOVEL of an email. I told him all about us, what we have, what we did, and inquired about IVF/ICSI.
I know realistically we are coming off of a 4 month BAD TIME and don't have the money. But maybe if I KNOW what I need to save, I can start putting money in some kind of fund to grow for our "IVF" fund... Do fundraisers and such... I don't know. I'm just so blasted frustrated!
I apologize my dear readers for being a freaking yo-yo the last few weeks, some is hormones, the rest is just the general heartache, frustration, and hurt that comes with this lovely journey. I don't know if the doc will email me back, but at least it was a step. I DID something. However pointless that something is...
Sigh, I need prayers, as always...Because today, is not at all a good day...
I'm tired of being stagnant, not moving, no where to go but to sit here and "take it". My friend posted on Facebook how she is breastfeeding her 11 day old daughter (child #3)...Talk about a punch in the gut! And you know, two of the nicest most deserving people! But again I ask, why not us? Or my friends, K & S, H & P, M & T (um no not us!), or S & D. WHY? Why not these lovely wonderful most deserving people? Why not us...
That is the never ending, never answered question isn't it?
I found myself googling RE's (reproductive endocrinologists) that are local. I have an RE but he is an hour away and has the personality of a toad and his office staff are just not very nice. They used to be, but now its all about the mighty dollar, and no one cares about the fact that you are hurting. So I found one in Wellington near us, and actually emailed the poor man a NOVEL of an email. I told him all about us, what we have, what we did, and inquired about IVF/ICSI.
I know realistically we are coming off of a 4 month BAD TIME and don't have the money. But maybe if I KNOW what I need to save, I can start putting money in some kind of fund to grow for our "IVF" fund... Do fundraisers and such... I don't know. I'm just so blasted frustrated!
I apologize my dear readers for being a freaking yo-yo the last few weeks, some is hormones, the rest is just the general heartache, frustration, and hurt that comes with this lovely journey. I don't know if the doc will email me back, but at least it was a step. I DID something. However pointless that something is...
Sigh, I need prayers, as always...Because today, is not at all a good day...
Sunday, October 12, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
TO ME!
I am now officially 30!! Holy crap! I'm no longer a 20-somethin'... HOLY CRAP I SAY!
Of course its only 1:30am and I'm ready to go to bed and sleep through most of my birthday! :) I'm tired! WE had a party at mom's house and it was a blast! Lots of cool stuff and lots of friends and family! Thank you everyone who made my day so special! :)
Oh and my lovely hubby got me a pair of DIAMOND earrings!!! They are GORGEOUS and princess cut like my wedding set is! They 'parkle!!! Aww so sweet of him!!
I know the thoughts are pretty random, so that means, night night time!!! I'm going to bed, long day today (meaning Saturday) and I'm ready to hang out and be 30 for the rest of Sunday!!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
I am now officially 30!! Holy crap! I'm no longer a 20-somethin'... HOLY CRAP I SAY!
Of course its only 1:30am and I'm ready to go to bed and sleep through most of my birthday! :) I'm tired! WE had a party at mom's house and it was a blast! Lots of cool stuff and lots of friends and family! Thank you everyone who made my day so special! :)
Oh and my lovely hubby got me a pair of DIAMOND earrings!!! They are GORGEOUS and princess cut like my wedding set is! They 'parkle!!! Aww so sweet of him!!
I know the thoughts are pretty random, so that means, night night time!!! I'm going to bed, long day today (meaning Saturday) and I'm ready to hang out and be 30 for the rest of Sunday!!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Just another Manic Wednesday...
Wait, that is not how the song goes... ☺
So its been a bonkers week here at work! Just kid after kid after kid. I'm getting caught up slowly but surely, but this school year has been NUTS! Add a nutso home life and I'm just plain NUTS! HA (I'd like to think I'm cashews. Mmmmm)
Anyway, I figured I'd post an update on Matt since its been a while. I'll send out an email soon too, just haven't had the chance! Matt is doing FANTASTIC! WAHOO! We went to his ortho on Monday and the cast was REMOVED!!! They also took out the stitches and there were NO HOLES! The incision is healing quite nicely! HBOT is doing the trick! Its the best his foot has looked in 4 months since the ORIGINAL surgery! Matt is in a walking boot now (and doe doe asked the Doctor if that meant he'd be able to walk now! OIY). He's feeling good, his energy level is up up up. AND he goes back to work on the 20th! Part time basis, 15 hours or so a week, but at least its BACK AT WORK!!! We also go back to ID (infectious disease) doc next week. Per our last appt, they said if the incision looks good on Tuesday, he's out of pain, and labs are OK, they will DISCONTINUE THE ANTIBIOTIC!!!!! HALLELUJAH! He will be 4 week post op for the most recent surgery and 12 weeks POST IV antibiotic! (YOWSA that is a LONG time to be infused twice a day!) Matt is so hoping and praying, just wants it to be OVER WITH! He will continue HBOT for the full 8 weeks. He is on week 3 now.
So we are slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! I think our ordeal is starting to come to an end! I can't believe it! I'm so grateful that he is doing well FINALLY and that the healing is there!! Its gonna be OK! Ever feel like your just now exhaling from having held your breath without knowing it? Yea, I'm feeling a bit of that now! I can finally breathe!
So that is it! Off to work...Oh and did I mention, I'm gonna be 30 in FIVE days!?!?!? ACK! I feel old! Bitter sweet as well. But alas that is another post for another time! ☺
♥ Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!! ♥
So its been a bonkers week here at work! Just kid after kid after kid. I'm getting caught up slowly but surely, but this school year has been NUTS! Add a nutso home life and I'm just plain NUTS! HA (I'd like to think I'm cashews. Mmmmm)
Anyway, I figured I'd post an update on Matt since its been a while. I'll send out an email soon too, just haven't had the chance! Matt is doing FANTASTIC! WAHOO! We went to his ortho on Monday and the cast was REMOVED!!! They also took out the stitches and there were NO HOLES! The incision is healing quite nicely! HBOT is doing the trick! Its the best his foot has looked in 4 months since the ORIGINAL surgery! Matt is in a walking boot now (and doe doe asked the Doctor if that meant he'd be able to walk now! OIY). He's feeling good, his energy level is up up up. AND he goes back to work on the 20th! Part time basis, 15 hours or so a week, but at least its BACK AT WORK!!! We also go back to ID (infectious disease) doc next week. Per our last appt, they said if the incision looks good on Tuesday, he's out of pain, and labs are OK, they will DISCONTINUE THE ANTIBIOTIC!!!!! HALLELUJAH! He will be 4 week post op for the most recent surgery and 12 weeks POST IV antibiotic! (YOWSA that is a LONG time to be infused twice a day!) Matt is so hoping and praying, just wants it to be OVER WITH! He will continue HBOT for the full 8 weeks. He is on week 3 now.
So we are slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! I think our ordeal is starting to come to an end! I can't believe it! I'm so grateful that he is doing well FINALLY and that the healing is there!! Its gonna be OK! Ever feel like your just now exhaling from having held your breath without knowing it? Yea, I'm feeling a bit of that now! I can finally breathe!
So that is it! Off to work...Oh and did I mention, I'm gonna be 30 in FIVE days!?!?!? ACK! I feel old! Bitter sweet as well. But alas that is another post for another time! ☺
♥ Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!! ♥
Friday, October 3, 2008
I'm very chatty lately! ☺
So I find it funny that when I go through a horrible slump, that I then become all filled with insight and yappiness (yes it is a word b/c I MADE IT ☺) Thank you everyone who emailed/posted such kind words about my last post. I guess speaking from the heart really does get through to everyone!! XOXO ♥ ♥ ♥
So b/c everything has been so HEAVY, I figured I'd just yap about nothing, and point out the new blog facelift! What do you think? I love it! looks cool to me ☺
If you look over to your right (and down a ways)---> you'll noticed something called "Followers of our Blog". This is a place for you to click, put in your google info, and become a follower of our blog! simple and easy, and great for the self esteem of the writer! (oo did I say that??) You know me I love to SEE who reads our blog! ☺
Um lets see what else. Oh down below you'll find our music selection has been updated. We have more music then before! some of them are lame, I know, I just haven't had a chance to go back and update and remove some of the weird ones! That's what I get for just picking w/o listening! ♪♫♪♫
Um, that is about it! We have a busy weekend ahead of us. We're going to Miami to pick up some friends of ours coming back from a cruise. Then we are dropping them off at the Casa Grande in South Beach and hanging out. They live in AL so its great to be able to see them! So exciting! Then we'll be-bop our way back home (Stupid IV antibiotic, no staying away for us!!). Church on Sunday most likely then I've GOT to get caught up on the housework/bills/laundry, etc.
Next weekend is my 30th Birthday! ACK! Scary I'm gonna be 30 in 9 days...Not at all where I expected to be by this age, but I know there's a reason for all, right?
Well that's it, off to lunch and then back to work. Have a blessed day in the Lord!
So b/c everything has been so HEAVY, I figured I'd just yap about nothing, and point out the new blog facelift! What do you think? I love it! looks cool to me ☺
If you look over to your right (and down a ways)---> you'll noticed something called "Followers of our Blog". This is a place for you to click, put in your google info, and become a follower of our blog! simple and easy, and great for the self esteem of the writer! (oo did I say that??) You know me I love to SEE who reads our blog! ☺
Um lets see what else. Oh down below you'll find our music selection has been updated. We have more music then before! some of them are lame, I know, I just haven't had a chance to go back and update and remove some of the weird ones! That's what I get for just picking w/o listening! ♪♫♪♫
Um, that is about it! We have a busy weekend ahead of us. We're going to Miami to pick up some friends of ours coming back from a cruise. Then we are dropping them off at the Casa Grande in South Beach and hanging out. They live in AL so its great to be able to see them! So exciting! Then we'll be-bop our way back home (Stupid IV antibiotic, no staying away for us!!). Church on Sunday most likely then I've GOT to get caught up on the housework/bills/laundry, etc.
Next weekend is my 30th Birthday! ACK! Scary I'm gonna be 30 in 9 days...Not at all where I expected to be by this age, but I know there's a reason for all, right?
Well that's it, off to lunch and then back to work. Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Infertility Insight
My online IF buddie, Merideth, has been struggling for the last few days with some insensitive comments/situations from her family. Ultimately her family, in their minds, were trying to protect her heart from hurt by not informing her of the birth of her niece. All though their intentions were good, ultimately their choice of action caused a great deal more pain and rifted their relationship. Thank God, they are working at their relationships and hopefully in time, Mer and her family will be once again united and healed.
On her blog, Mer posted a snippet from the book, “Hannah’s Hope” by Jennifer Saake, which I highly recommend for the infertile and the family of the infertile. Jennifer has a great way of expressing what us in the IF world are TRYING to say but comes out wrong, and how to work with our emotions and our hurting hearts. I know in my family, they have greatly improved in their sensitivity toward Matt and I and our IF life. But there are still times when situations that cause for delicacy (ex: informing me that someone is preggie), I've ended up more hurt by the WAY I was told over just the information that AGAIN someone has moved forward to a child and I'm left behind. For example, finding out that my family has pulled proverbial straws to decide who is going to tell me about said pregnancy, well that is kind of insulting. I know INTENTIONS are good, no one wants to be responsible to tell Talley the hurtful news, but it makes me feel like a burden, a bother. "Who is stuck with the chore of telling Talley." If you look at it from my point of view, it can be hurtful to know that someone was BURDENED with telling me news. Where as to have just told me the news, I could deal with the hurt of the news and move on, yet now I'm struggling with the hurt of how I was told as well. I think Jenni says it all in this snippet from "Hannah's Hope":
Communication is imperative. You can have all the general guidelines in the world, but you can best minister to me by getting to know my heart and learning my triggers for rejoicing or heartache. When in doubt, ask me directly.
In some ways you are in a “no-win” situation. If you ignore me when it is time to send out baby shower invitations or birth announcements, it may make me feel all the more removed from normalcy. Yet if you do include me and I’m having an especially hard day, I may feel you have been insensitive. One idea might be to send me the same baby shower invitation that you are sending all your friends, but inside include a handwritten note acknowledging that you know this might bring me pain. Let me know that I am free to come or not, as I so desire, but that you love me and are praying for me.
My grief has made me vulnerable, this sometimes I misunderstand what you say to me or take your words the wrong way. Please be patient with me. I do not want you to feel like you can’t say anything to me or share from your heart, for I desire for you to talk to me and be my friend now more than ever! Please do not always wait for me to take initiative to get together and talk. I need you to be the one reaching out to me. It reassures me that you haven’t stopped caring about me and still desire to be with me even when it is tough. *I find this one especially perfect with regards to my friends who have moved on to parent children*
And please, don’t just assume things about me during this time of mourning. As me and let me share with you what I am learning. Above all please keep me in your ongoing prayers. And every now and then, call me on the phone or drop me a note in the mail just to remind me that you are praying.
(Please visit http://www.hannah.org/resources/friends.htm for more resources.)
Doesn't she just say it so well? And without disrespect or rudeness and with insightful ways to work with the heart of an IFer.
I find it important to share my heart with all of my "faithful readers". I find that education and understanding and peace come when the lines of communication are wide open. You, the reader, can not learn from me, the writer, if I do not tell you what it is I feel or how things effect me or Matt during this journey. I know that God has a reason for allowing us to have gone so long w/o a child, I have to hold to that. Some days its the only hope that gets me through to tomorrow. I'm hoping that through my experiences, trials, and endurance of this journey, that maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will learn from my experiences. Maybe by sharing our story, one person will be helped, less hurt, or more educated regarding infertility. And through it all, maybe that person will see Christ through me and ultimately receive the blessing of Jesus in their life. Wouldn't that make this entire drama all worthwhile!! But for now I will continue to share our journey with you. Thank you for standing beside us, as we walk this road that God has laid out before us!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
***Edited to add***
I just wanted to make it very clear that I hold no grudge, animosity, or anger toward any friend or family member! If God has taught me anything, it is to be patient b/c He is not through with me or anyone else yet! This post was more for insight and educating those new to IF or to a family member with IF...I love my family dearly and they have come so far in their understanding and sensitivity to our situation!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!
On her blog, Mer posted a snippet from the book, “Hannah’s Hope” by Jennifer Saake, which I highly recommend for the infertile and the family of the infertile. Jennifer has a great way of expressing what us in the IF world are TRYING to say but comes out wrong, and how to work with our emotions and our hurting hearts. I know in my family, they have greatly improved in their sensitivity toward Matt and I and our IF life. But there are still times when situations that cause for delicacy (ex: informing me that someone is preggie), I've ended up more hurt by the WAY I was told over just the information that AGAIN someone has moved forward to a child and I'm left behind. For example, finding out that my family has pulled proverbial straws to decide who is going to tell me about said pregnancy, well that is kind of insulting. I know INTENTIONS are good, no one wants to be responsible to tell Talley the hurtful news, but it makes me feel like a burden, a bother. "Who is stuck with the chore of telling Talley." If you look at it from my point of view, it can be hurtful to know that someone was BURDENED with telling me news. Where as to have just told me the news, I could deal with the hurt of the news and move on, yet now I'm struggling with the hurt of how I was told as well. I think Jenni says it all in this snippet from "Hannah's Hope":
Communication is imperative. You can have all the general guidelines in the world, but you can best minister to me by getting to know my heart and learning my triggers for rejoicing or heartache. When in doubt, ask me directly.
In some ways you are in a “no-win” situation. If you ignore me when it is time to send out baby shower invitations or birth announcements, it may make me feel all the more removed from normalcy. Yet if you do include me and I’m having an especially hard day, I may feel you have been insensitive. One idea might be to send me the same baby shower invitation that you are sending all your friends, but inside include a handwritten note acknowledging that you know this might bring me pain. Let me know that I am free to come or not, as I so desire, but that you love me and are praying for me.
My grief has made me vulnerable, this sometimes I misunderstand what you say to me or take your words the wrong way. Please be patient with me. I do not want you to feel like you can’t say anything to me or share from your heart, for I desire for you to talk to me and be my friend now more than ever! Please do not always wait for me to take initiative to get together and talk. I need you to be the one reaching out to me. It reassures me that you haven’t stopped caring about me and still desire to be with me even when it is tough. *I find this one especially perfect with regards to my friends who have moved on to parent children*
And please, don’t just assume things about me during this time of mourning. As me and let me share with you what I am learning. Above all please keep me in your ongoing prayers. And every now and then, call me on the phone or drop me a note in the mail just to remind me that you are praying.
(Please visit http://www.hannah.org/resources/friends.htm for more resources.)
Doesn't she just say it so well? And without disrespect or rudeness and with insightful ways to work with the heart of an IFer.
I find it important to share my heart with all of my "faithful readers". I find that education and understanding and peace come when the lines of communication are wide open. You, the reader, can not learn from me, the writer, if I do not tell you what it is I feel or how things effect me or Matt during this journey. I know that God has a reason for allowing us to have gone so long w/o a child, I have to hold to that. Some days its the only hope that gets me through to tomorrow. I'm hoping that through my experiences, trials, and endurance of this journey, that maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will learn from my experiences. Maybe by sharing our story, one person will be helped, less hurt, or more educated regarding infertility. And through it all, maybe that person will see Christ through me and ultimately receive the blessing of Jesus in their life. Wouldn't that make this entire drama all worthwhile!! But for now I will continue to share our journey with you. Thank you for standing beside us, as we walk this road that God has laid out before us!
Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
***Edited to add***
I just wanted to make it very clear that I hold no grudge, animosity, or anger toward any friend or family member! If God has taught me anything, it is to be patient b/c He is not through with me or anyone else yet! This post was more for insight and educating those new to IF or to a family member with IF...I love my family dearly and they have come so far in their understanding and sensitivity to our situation!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!
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