I apologize for my absence...

But its been just a little crazy here! and I'm feeling quite poorly. Guess I'm preggie! :-)

I'll start with saying little bean is doing well. I'm 10w4d right now and ready and willing to move into the next trimester. I'm kinda going backwards. I'm more nauseous, pukey, sore boobs and bleh NOW further into the 1st trimester, then I was the 1st 8 weeks. An online bud of mine reminded me that my HCG levels are now DROPPING and progesterone is RISING, so the flux in hormones may be causing this fun time I'm having! I'm just not a fan of uncontrollably puking in my bathroom sink! GAG. My belly is pooching, but I'm still looking more like a fattER girl, then a preggie girl, but I'm sure the time is coming! I'm definitely in maternity pants now b/c there is no buckle in my closet that will button at this time! HA

So TMI is coming...You have been warned!!

So update on the "crazy". Matt and I had a scare Saturday a week ago (the 7th). We were going about our day debating if we wanted to go out when I began to bleed heavy bright red flow. It was not just a little spot here or there, but rather an extremely heavy flow (heavier then a period). It lasted about 1/2 hour and then stopped as fast as it started. Thankfully we were both HOME and not out and about or work, church, store or anywhere else where soaking through your pants with blood wound have been horrifying to the people around you. And thankfully Matt was with me as I began to panic. He immediately just held me as i sobbed, wept with me and held my belly praying for our child. We were sure that this baby was being taken from us. I cleaned up, laid down and we called the OB, FRANTIC. I could not contain the tears, this was our baby our miracle child God had given us, and the thought of loosing her now, just was heart crushing and devastating. We, of course, were directed to the ER so they could figure out what was going on.

We quickly grabbed everything and went to our local ER, it was pouring, Matt go DRENCHED getting out of the van. Of course it was so very busy in the ER, but they were kind enough to get me back to a room in 1/2 hr so I could lie down. The tears flowed freely just praying for this child. So many people started praying for us. (its amazing what a quick post on Facebook will do!) My brother, who was at my mom's when we called her, was so awesome and got his small group prayer chain going and before we knew it there were DOZENS of people praying for us and our baby. We were able to finally calm down and just pray and hold each other, begging God to keep our baby here, protect her from whatever this was.

We were finally seen (and of course it was old home week as our nurse and like 1/2 the ER staff were all folks I worked with or knew from somewhere!) and amazingly the bleeding was completely GONE. Not a drop, and hadn't been since we were home...So odd, but reassuring. The doc performed a pelvic (oiy poor area is just so violated) and had me straight cath'd!! ACK! No matter what the nurse said about it "not hurting" was a LIE! And lemme tell you she was lying to the wrong chick! Sheesh. But during the exam, not a drop of blood and a closed cervix. Praise God. Labs were all normal, but we were waiting for the u/s. That was going to be our definitive answer....Were we going to see/hear a heartbeat.

Finally almost 4 HOURS after getting to the ER, they took me back to u/s. Thankfully Matt was at my side. It of course was internal as Jr. is still very small. I couldn't see the screen, and I just asked the tech to please let me know if the heartbeat was there, I didn't need anything else, just that. She told me she couldn't tell me yay or nay but better yet...turned on the Doppler. And we could hear the wonderful flutter of a heartbeat!!! Praise be to God!!! Can I tell you that Matt and I just melted into a puddle of praise and tears. Our little one was alive and well, with a strong heartbeat! PRAISE JESUS! It was the best sound in the world!

We stayed another several hours, getting fluid being monitored, but it didn't matter, b/c the baby was OK!! You could have kept me there over night and I'd have said OKEEY DOKEEY!! The ER doc wasn't really sure what it was, but prescribed me mandatory bed rest for 3 days and follow up with OB. So we came home, and I stayed in bed/couch until my appt on Monday with the OB. Then after another scan that showed a dancing wiggly baby with arm buds and a strong heartbeat, I was seen by the wonderful Dr. V who gave me the answer I needed to, "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT !!!!".

Basically I have a pocket between the placenta and the uterus where the placenta didn't adhere quite right. B/c of the vascular-ness (is that a word?) of the area, blood pooled. After some over exertion physically on my part, the area pulled away and dumped the blood, causing the overwhelming amount of blood and the quick stop. My area is small, so harmless, all tho I must take it easy. Work only, no lifting, no bending, and no, ahem *blush*....I can work and come home and REST. To which I answered "you got it!!". I will do whatever has to be done for this little one!! Matt has been FANTASTIC, doing laundry, cleaning sorta, but keeping me fed and groceries in the fridge. Running to the grocery store for my weird whim of a craving. (not too many yet) He is such a blessing.

So that's it! Jr. gave us a helluva scare, but everything is OK! See why I've been quiet? Freaking wore me out man!! Yowsa! I go back to the OB on Wednesday for another check up. We have a detailed u/s next week to look for genetic and birth defects (not worried, just would like to know if that is the case and its recommended by my OB office). And every day we just praise God for this little one. We really don't know how many days we have with anyone, so we rejoice with each and every day! However I'd really love it if there were no more of these EXCITING moments in this pregnancy! OIY.

Well, on that note I'm headed to bed. I'm exhausted from the day and tomorrow brings another one! Hope everyone is well! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Growing day by day....

Hello everyone. I apologize for not updating more frequently, but I find myself in this state of quiet. Not really reading, not writing, not journaling. I know I should be writing every single detail of this miracle pregnancy down, but I'm just finding my self needing to be in a place of quiet. I know sounds weird, makes sense to my brain!!!

I, or rather, WE are doing well. I am 9 weeks pregnant!! Can you believe? I know I can't either!!! I have graduated to a standard OB patient and had my first appt on Wednesday. Mom came with me hoping to get a glimpse or hear little one, but I did not have a new u/s at this time, but I have one next Wednesday scheduled. Everything looks great, all tho my BP was elevated, something they are watching, it has been since I started IVF. And mom had my OB laughing so hard he had to stop mid exam. Yea, it was an interesting day!! LOL.

So pretty much this appt was about history, praising God, vital sign check, pee in a cup and all the internal stuff. I'll spare you the details of a Pap smear but I will tell you that my OB said I "feel very pregnant" when he does the internal. We're moving right along! So even though we didn't see our little bean sprout, I'm reassured that my body is changing and growing, so baby is too!!!

SO u/s next week, then follow up with OB the week after...He is still waiting on all my files to come from the IVF clinic, so holding off taking the 10,000 gallons of blood since pretty much all of it was already done. I got signed up for all kinds of stuff, and formula and got a new mommy goody bag with a pregnancy planner. Its amazing to have this happening. Is it real? Am I really going to be a mommy to a little one?

My OB is so excited...He just hugged me (and mom) and congratulated me and praised God with us. (he goes to my church) He is just amazing!!! So cool to have a GOD FEARING doc!! He has always prayed w/us before he did any of my surgeries. This man has walked the road of heartache with us, pretty much from the 1st year on. He has held us, prayed with us, listened to us, patiently waited with me as I melted into a puddle of tears and heartache and frustration. He has even teared up with us. So now he is just Praising JESUS with us!!! Knowing how much of a miracle this child is, and that all the glory for him/her is for God alone!! Its pretty cool...

Its just crazy! I can't believe I'm doing all this!! Its overwhelming!! I'm so humbled by this gift from God!!! Please join me in continuing to pray for this little one to grow grow grow, but also to offer up some praise to our God, for the gift of life inside me. Have a blessed day in the Lord!