Saturday, November 28, 2009

Heading to bed...

After a crazy couple of days!!

There were over 25 people at the house at my Aunt P's. I really enjoyed myself! It has been a wonderful Thanksgiving! Since 1/2 our family moved up to NC, its been much smaller, more intimate type holiday celebrations. I've missed our blow out parties that we have!!! And this is the holiday that never ends! We just picked up today and kept going...

The guys went and played some golf, while the girls went...SHOPPING!!! Of course. What is a girls day w/o some shopping. (And I must say I got some adorable boots, 2 pair for $45!! SCORE!) Then the ladies went out to an early dinner at Olive Garden and celebrated my Aunt K's birthday. Then we came back to P's house and I helped my cuz make sock puppets for her class in college. Yes her college money at work, making sock puppets! Where were those classes when I was in college!

I really have enjoyed myself, spending time in the mountains and with all my family. I've been lovin' on my baby cuz and getting some baby fixin' that I've needed so. My heart still hurts, but I've done pretty OK this holiday. One down, one to go. But so far, I've been able to enjoy and not hurt so much. Guess it shows I am growing. Or turning numb. One or the other!!!

This is such a unique time in my life. My aunties and I were talking about it yesterday. I'm growing up, I'm an adult now (I know I have been but I FEEL more adult-y now). I'm now, not the little niece, but a friend to my aunties, my mom. MY baby cuz (who is 20!! EEK) has become one of my dear friends. We talk and confide in each other, and its just neat to watch her grow into this amazing, Godly, unique and honorable young woman. Probably what my aunties felt about me as I turned into their friend over their "little niece". It's just neat to have this opportunity to be able to become closer to my family in different ways then it ever was before. Kinda hard to explain I guess. But I know that I can confide in them, ask for prayer, and now I'll get the love and support I'd get from any friend, AND they love me. Just pluses all around!!! :^)

Wow, it just hit me how tired I am. I must call my hubby and remind him how much I love him!! Absence really does make the heart grow fonder! I'm ready to be home and in his arms!! Good night dear friends. Pictures to come, I promise! Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Heading to NC...

Which for me means NICE n COLD!! It is cool in NC and I'm so looking forward to it! I may have a different way of thinking when I'm actually IN the cold! My folks arrived safely with ladybug (my car, I think I like the name, still workin' on that) and their dog penny...I fly up there TOMORROW! I'm so stoked!! I'm looking forward to a bit of a break!! Then Mom, Dad, penny and I are driving back home on Sunday in Ladybug. Hmmm, still not sure of the name.. Suggestions?

Holidays are hard for me...Lots of hopes and dreams that are dashed and crushed around this time of year. Another "we shoulda had a baby, a toddler, a kindergartner by now" type thoughts roll around in my pea brain. Makes my heart hurt. SIGH. Some things never go away I spose. I'm trying to just enjoy Thanksgiving, my family, my new auntie, and just BE. And on some days, that is easier said then done. Funny how my heart will ache in waves. Guess it depends on how distracted I am with life....

I am gonna miss my hubby as he is stuck here for Black Friday. Who invented that anyway? I mean SERIOUSLY! Who wants to be bombarded by nasty crazed out of control shoppers at 4:30 in the morning, just to get the shirt that is 10% off the raised price that I can get for the same price in about 2 weeks? SHEESH! Not my forte, as you can tell. He will be spending TGing with his mom and sister and her fiance. They are getting married in MAY! I'm so excited, her dress is beautiful and she will be a stunning bride!! Wow I jumped around tonight!

Well gotta finish packing, going straight from work tomorrow, so need to be prepared. I'll be off for a few days, but will try to do some typing and picture uploading while in NC. If not, you'll see me when I get back!!! May you all have a fabulous safe Thanksgiving! Have a blessed day in the Lord...

Look at the painting God gave me this evening!! I took this while stopped at a red light on the way home...Isn't His creation amazing?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Our God is an Awesome God!

Hello my readers oh the few but faithful!!! (I really need to get the word out to family that I'm blogging again!!!) I've just got to say our God is AWESOME!!!

Its been an interesting and fun week. My new auntie has arrived!!! She is here from Aussie safe and sound, praise God. Dad, Matt and I drove to Miami and met up with my other family to greet her at the airport! It was quite an adventure!! LOL

It is amazing to me how she just fits into our crazy family. She is like a little puzzle piece that has been missing and when joined with the rest of the puzzle, is a perfect fit. Truly remarkable how God has shaped and molded everything to fit so nicely together. Its as if she has been a member of our family for ever and not just the last few months. I can only contribute the smooth transition to our Lord. Well transition for 1/2 of us anyway!! Anne is coming tomorrow with my other auntie and stopping here on their way to NC for Thanksgiving next week. There she will meet the rest of them. The other "half" of us!!! We are all meeting up next week for a huge family reunion. I fly in on Wed after work, and then will drive home with my mom and dad on Sunday. I'm looking forward to it!!!

Here is a picture of all of us meeting Anne at the airport:













It was an amazing experience! Something I will treasure always. Grabbing into my arms a piece that was missing, that I didn't even know was missing, and then realizing with that hug, we are now whole!!! Very very cool!!! Totally a God thing!!!

We spent the weekend getting to know her. Had a BBQ at my aunt's house. Mom and I drove down to Miami to participate, it was fun. I also got to see my Mema who is in a home b/c of Alzheimer's. She is mentally pretty much gone, but she did blow me kisses and knew my daddy's name. Its bittersweet. She is so well cared for, my aunties have seen to her care and helped get her the very best, but she is no longer the essence of what my Grandma was.

It has me thinking a lot about our own future, where will Matt and I be in 40 or 50 years. Will we have any grown little ones to be a part of our lives and to care for us? Or will we be alone, put away b/c there is no one to care for us. Will I have a legacy to leave? Its very hard not knowing if my name and legacy and faith will be carried on by my child b/c I don't know if that child will exist. Its a hard place to be but I'm trying and learning, not to ask God "Will you do this for me or give me the desires of my heart?", but to trust that HE CAN. Its a walk of faith, stepping out into the unknown, trusting that he CAN do what I ask or desire, but being OK with the fact that it may not be in His will. That in the middle of my impossibility is when I need to BELIEVE in God's ABILITY!!! Easier said then done, but I am learning.

On a lighter note, our pictures are back from our photo shoot! They are BEAUTIFUL! I'm so impressed by Jamilah's talent!! They are posted all over facebook, but I'll give you a few here as well that are our faves. Tomorrow is beautiful FRIDAY, my favorite day of the week! And we are having dinner at my folks with my bro, sis-in-law and my aunties. So I'm off to bed dear world! Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!!





Saturday, November 7, 2009

AHHH!!!

CRAZINESS!!!!

Its been a bonkers crazy full moon week!!! I'm so glad its over but yet its not as i am on call. That has not been so great either!! OIY to the VEY...

Thankfully it is bringing on a paycheck, so that works for me. SIGH, me so sleepy...Its hard to believe how amazingly crazy a job can be, and how much chaos can be produced in just a short amount of time. I've been out and to the houses of patients all week long!! So short handed at work, that Me and J have been having to cover. One that I've been seeing a ton is unfortunately dying...So that has been weighing heavy on my heart all week. Finally he is going into Hospice care, which will be better for him, but it saddens my heart. I've already lost 2 dear patients since starting in home care, and I've only lost maybe 4 or 5 in my entire career up to date. So this working with adults who die more, is a little bit tough on my heart. Brings back a lot of memories of Oma and her last hours here with us... Pokes at that bruise on my heart! :^(

Overall just an exhausting week. But thinks are looking up, as always, and God is control!!! We found out Matt's insurance is going to be so much better then mine for next year and NOT ONLY THAT it will save us $450 a MONTH!!! SWEETNESS! So that is an amazing blessing for us. Will totally help to break down our debt!! GOD IS GOOD!!

Well that is all....Short and sweet tonight!! I'm still fiddling on the computer for work, so its time to get off my blog!! :^) hee hee... Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Rental dog...

So for Halloween weekend, we babysat, or rather doggy sat my friend Nik's pup. He is an old poofy Pomeranian that peed on everything. However he was cute and the animals relatively got along. I even dressed him up in Joy's bumble bee costume for Halloween.

Its hard to believe its November already. I'm shocked that this year is almost over. My Aunt Anne is coming in less then 2 weeks from Australia. I can't believe THAT time is here too!!! She is flying into FL and its just a few weeks from our family reunion in NC for Thanksgiving. I know I'm gonna have to face a pregnancy as my cousin's bro and wife are expecting. Again. Every holiday season for the last couple of years I've had to face their preggie belly. In just half the time Matt and I have been trying for a little one, they will have 3. Sheesh, if only my eggs were HALF as good!!! OIY.

I hate that I never have a safe place, that pregnancy and babies and bellies are all around me, no matter what I do. And that I have to just suck it up and take it. Its hard. It hurts my heart so much, and yet its the natural progression of life. Just not in my body. Amazing to me how IF can bring down just about anything. I just pray that my heart stays protected and safe. I'm choosing to rejoice in the fellowship with my family, and I'll just have to hide my broken heart. SIGH nothing is ever simple is it? I wish there were a way to shut off this everlasting pain that is in my heart. Well its time for bed and I want to show you the animals. Have a blessed day in the Lord.