Difficult, emotional day

I don't know why this month is hitting me so hard, maybe its anniversary of Oma's passing, maybe its the just passing 6 years of IF, maybe its b/c our 7th anniversary is coming up, then my 31st bday, then Matt's 33rd bday, maybe its just b/c another year has come, and gone, with nothing to show for it except increased disappointment and more heartache and tears...

Dunno...

I've been very weepy today. I'm not even due for my period yet, like another week and a half to go...Just frustrated and tired, and sick of being let down month after month, even tho my brain knows it probably will never happen on its own, my heart gets hopeful each month...grrr. so stupid of me.

I know that this probably has something to do with it as well...My dear dear IF girlfriend is on her way to Israel as we speak. Its pretty amazing (and I'm HIGHLY jealous that I'm not with her! :) ) So I had jokingly said that she can go to the wailing wall on both our behalves, not thinking she actually could...Do you know that she has a prayer for Matt and I and our desires and yearning to be parents, and she is going to put it in the wailing wall and intercede on our behalf? Its so neat to think, that in one of the oldest, holiest places, the place that is known as the direct ear to heaven, that my beloved friend is going to bring our desire, our dreams, our heartache, our sadness and lay it before the Lord!!??!! Its just so amazing to me. Now I know that Jesus gave us that bridge that separates us from God so that he can hear us directly, no need for a priest in the Holy of Holies, I'm just speaking based on tradition. Its a holy and sovereign place, and my prayer will be placed there. Just overwhelms me, its an amazing thought. So that is adding to my tearful day (that and a bad day at work)...

I know I'm rambling nonsense. I'm just feeling so honored that my friend would do this for us, intercede on our behalf, and I know that she doesn't even have to ask me what to say, she could pray it verbatim, without even a peep from me...Its pretty neat, I think.

I try to keep my emotions in control, not let IF take control of who I am and what I desire. Most of the time, I succeed, but today I'm struggling...and prayers are appreciated.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Long time...

Lots to update!! So I was talking with my long time friend Jen and she informed me I was slacking in my writing. She is, of course, right. It has been a MONTH and what a while month its been!!!

So a lot of it I haven't written about b/c I needed to make it official first. The district had cut the nurses to 33hr/wk. something absolutely not do-able for us!! And they cut our insurance making it cost more out of pocket for us as well. So I'd been trying to figger out what to do. Well, about a month ago at the home health agency I was working for, I was offered a job. A REALLY good job! I am now the Clinical Supervisor for my agency! Its a 40 hr week job M-F with a nice pay increase! So as of this past Thursday, I resigned from the Health Care District. I am no longer a school nurse! It was and is hard to leave the kids, and my staff. I LOVED my staff. But it was definitely the right move! After all I went through with them, this is where I'm meant to be! It is truly a blessing for us!

Also this month we bought a car for me!! The Kia bit the dust, and we were able to finance a vehicle I could afford!!! (and literally 4 days later the job offer came! GO GOD with timing!) Its a candy apple red Toyota Rav4. Its GORGEOUS. See pics below! :)

Let's see what else. OH. Remember how Matt and I had written a letter to Apple, fighting back for his demotion b/c we felt it wasn't done fair? That was back in like, May or April I believe. I was on a rampage then! Fighting my district with legal help, fighting Matt's company for unfair demotion. Anyway, Matt had a meeting with them this past Tuesday. Well his HR guy found Matt's boss to be in the WRONG and at fault and re-instated Matt to FULL TIME with BENEFITS!!! HOORAY! So He is back to full time! I'm so happy for him!! Again, GOD IS GOOD!

SO that is all the good fun going on! Its been a crazy summer! Good for the most part. Full of blessings. I can not even TELL you the relief from all these blessings! Safe car, safe jobs, income coming in!

I've been in an IF funk for lack of a better term. But that is a post for another day. Now, I have to go to bed and sleep b/c tomorrow I go back to my new full time job!! Lots to catch up on for missing 3 days!! :)

Have a blessed day in the Lord! (OO car pics below)