REVISED Brochure Photos

So Meghan from the DG Foundation sent me the whole CD of photos (OVER 100!!!) And I found some that I REALLY like, better then before...

NO i'm not gonna show you all of them! But these just are better to me..(Less tummy showing in me too!)

So here ya go! I have NO IDEA which ones she used for the brochure, I guess we'll find out when it gets here! Its been sent off to print as we speak!

THIS ONE IS MY FAVE! I love a good action shot!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Busy Busy

So not only has school started off with a bang, I've also got this nasty little chest cold that is kickin' my butt!!! But I'm on the mend.

So first we had a crazy 1st day back, I didn't have computers all last week and this week until today, Tuesday we had a hurricane day (which turned into a blessing b/c it was my sickest day. didn't have to call in sick! Phew) and I have so many kids this year my clinic shall bust!!! OIY...

Not to mention, doctors appts, CT scans, Bone scans, AND I leave next week to fly to PA for my friend L's wedding! So I may be a bit spotty at best!!!

I spoke with the DG Foundation rep, she is sending us the ENTIRE CD of Photos from the photo shoot, so we might find some better ones for possible Cmas pics. Be prepared folks to see these again! Hee hee. She said this is a nationwide brochure and Matt is going to be "famous". HA! And she is sending plenty of brochures for the family! Pretty cool actually! hee hee.

So that's IT. I'm waiting on 8 to come around so I can dose up my hubby and GO TO BED! ME IS TIRED! One of my kids asked why I wore dark eye makeup under my eyes today. *blush* guess I need better foundation for the dark circles! OIY.

Have a blessed day in the LORD.

Here are some of the Photos...

That the dude took yesterday. I gotta tell ya, I'm not thrilled with them. BIG SIGH. I have lost almost 10 lbs yet look like a pig. BIG SIGH...Good thing Matt looks so good! :)

I like the posed one of us! IT was SOOO HOT and soo sunny that day, hard not to squint!!! Ignore my belly in the "walking" one...The one where we are holding hands! AWWW...

Some cool goings on...

So you all remember the Darrell Gwynn Foundation right?? (how could you forget!!)

Real quick, for those who are new to our blog and DON'T know, this foundation donated a $35,000 power wheelchair (w/c) to Matt and at a daytona national race no less!!! If you search the blog you can find all the detailed info, videos and pics...

ANYWAY, the event coordinator person called and said they are making a "w/c donation brochure" and would like Matt to be one of the main dudes to be in it!!! SO a guy came over today to take professional photos of Matt and I outside by a tree. They also had a pic of us walking and holding hands...WHICH IS PERFECT BECAUSE, they had also asked Matt to write a little paragraph of what this w/c means to him, and our family...

So I thought I'd share, here is what he wrote:

I never knew that at age 28 my disability would force me into using a manual wheelchair full time. I had to learn how to function and regain my independence in my every day life. As time went on, my doctor informed me I would lose what independence I had if I continued to use my manual chair. Again at age 31 I was faced with losing all that I had worked so hard for and accomplished in the last 3 years. If not for the grace of God and the generosity of Darrell Gwynn and the foundation, I would be unable to work or support my family. With my brand new power chair, not only have I regained total independence and improved my
health, comfort, and pressure management, but also my work life has improved dramatically. The interaction with my customers at work has become more natural and flows with increased ease and comfort. I am able to elevate to their eye level and speak to them, not as the man in the wheelchair, but as the salesman there to give them the assistance they need. I can support and care for my family and even take a stroll beside my wife, and I can hold her hand again as we walk together. This amazing gift has truly changed my life and has blessed me and my family. Without the Darrell Gwynn Foundation, it would not have been possible! They are
truly a blessing and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!! ~Matthew MacIntosh

Aren't we blessed? I have such an awesome hubby!

Have a blessed day in the Lord.....

Things are looking up!

PRAISE GOD!! Matt has been on Vancomycin IV twice a day for almost 5 complete days. And today, FINALLY he is improving!!!

His foot looks better, HE is feeling better. We are so thankful its finally working! PRAISE GOD! Matt is still under "house arrest" so to speak, and is to continue to take it easy and not over expose himself to germies...So needless to say he is getting antsy.

I went to a funeral today. My dear friend N that I've known forever and ever, her father in law passed away unexpectedly this week. It has been so very tough on the family and they are devastated by this loss. N is a newly wed and was just married in March. But they have been together for as long as Matt and I have been married. It was a beautiful memorial. He will be missed by so many. Please keep the family in your prayers.

OK Matt's IV is beeping, time to take it out and go to bed. Work has returned and I'm back tomorrow!!! Both Mom's have learned how to do Matt's antibiotic, so they will take the day shift! We have several appt's coming up, and I'll keep you posted on recovery. For now, today is a good day for him, and we will praise God for it! Talk to you all later!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

UPDATE...

OK so went to ID (infectious disease) doc today, and he agrees. Matt's foot appears to have recurrence of the infection. SO he discontinued the IV Rocephin and started him on IV Vancomycin twice a day. GAG. And he'll have blood draws for that every week to monitor his kidneys and blood levels. They are pretty sure its MRSA.

Also he put him on oral Levaquin every day for the next 2 months. And let me tell you how much I'm praising God for insurance b/c my copay is $35 which is a lot for a month supply. But just the 6 days they gave us (its out of stock so we have enough for 6 days) the insurance saved us $186.. FOR 6 DAYS!!! Imagine 30!!! Holy moly that's a lot of money, like, what, $30 a PILL?? That's like $900 HOLY CLAP! THANK YOU JESUS FOR INSURANCE!!! YOWSA

OK So anyway moving on... Matt has a CT scan of his foot in 2 weeks to check the fusion of the toe, if all is good he'll have surgery the following week. If not we'll rescan in another 2 weeks after that and then surgery at 5 weeks from now, etc etc (make sense?)

So they are delivering the antibiotic tonight. I have to train my mom, his mom and a friend of ours that's retired to administer the meds b/c it has to be delivered over 1 1/2 hrs, and I have to leave for work at 630am. So I'm not gonna be able to do a morning dose (I'd have to be up by 430!! NOT gonna happen I'll end up sick from fatigue) So the MOM'S are gonna help us. B/c insurance isn't gonna pay for a daily RN to come out, they only pay for once or twice a week. (Probably b/c they are spending $900 on a pill! YIKES)

So that's it...lots of stuff to come. My work has me filling out FMLA paper work so that my job is protected so I can miss work intermittently as needed and it not count against me...

So that's it. all is going to be OK. OH after the plate surgery Matt is going to have some form of hyperbaric oxygen therapy on his footsie to help with healing after the next post op and in future operations... oh boy oh boy. LOL

So that's it for an update. Back to the mundane of daily antibiotics. No work either he is grounded through surgery...He's bummed and sad, a little depressed, and just over all of it. Any little cheering up you want to do would be appreciated and also continued prayers for him. My mom and the church are setting up visitors and stuff (if possible) for while I'm at work and he is stuck at home.. So that's good.

OK that's it!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Prayers please

Went to Primary doc today for a follow up. He is noticing what I've been seeing for a day or two, that it appears the infection is taking hold again. Its probable that matt has MRSA causing the osteomyelitis so his current antibiotic will not be good enough.

SO the primary doc called the infectious disease (ID) doc and got us an earlier appt on Wednesday. So we will see him then at 1115. He is also thinking we need to go back on the vancomycin. It just requires a pump for delivery and over 1 1/2 hrs...and more blood work, but whatever, we'll live...just as long as matt gets better.

Forgive me for this being short, but I'm quite worn out. Please pray for guidance for the medical people....Thanks!

5 years ago....

So this post has been brewing around in my brain for several days now. Even in the midst of Matt's crisis, my heart's desire and unfortunately my empty arms have been in the forefront of my mind.

5 years ago today...

We prayerfully decided it was time for us to expand our family...

5 years ago today...

My first cycle free of birth control pills and ready to go and actively Try to Conceive (TTC)

5 years ago today...

I began the anticipation, excitement, joy, fear, nervousness, and elation at the possibility that a little one would be in my arms within a year. That little one that I've thought about and prayed for my whole life. That little one that would complete our family, expanding on the love and joy we have with each other. A physical representation of that love together Matt and I have.

5 years later...

I had no idea I'd still be here, empty arms, shattered dreams, and a broken heart. That I'd have gone through all these tests, procedures, surgeries, violations, pokings, proddings, and humiliations, and yet still be left with empty arms. I had no idea 5 years ago, when I innocently walked into this decision, overwhelmed with possibilities and joy, that this is where I'd be, 5 years later.

Now mind you we have some amazing blessings in our life, I'm more in love with my hubby then I ever have been, and I'm grateful for that love, and the love of our family and Savior. But I'm still here, yearning for these children that God has laid on my heart. These two precious wee ones that have been a part of me my entire life, before I knew their names, before I knew what I wanted. Shoot before I had a hubby to try and make them with! :)

There is a relatively new song I've been hearing on the radio from Tenth Avenue North called "Love is Here".

Here are the lyrics:

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more.
Come to the Father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed.

Love is here. Love is now.
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brows.
Love is near, it satisfies. streams of mercy flowing from His side.
Cuz love is here.

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed.

Love is here. Love is now.
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brows.
Love is near, it satisfies. streams of mercy flowing from His side.

And to the bruised and fallen,
captives, bound, and broken hearted.

He is the lord
He is the lord,
yeah

By His stripes He's paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation

He is the lord
He is the lord

Love is here. Love is now.
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brows.
Love is near, it satisfies. streams of mercy flowing from His side.
Streams of mercy flowing from His side.
Cuz love is here,
Love is here.

God has been speaking to me through these words. Funny b/c its a local band too! talk about reaching out and touching someone local! HA

These words: And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed.
I have "labored" and worked through so much and tried so hard to have a child and all of it seems to be in vain. I feel left in pieces, a barren woman unable to provide children for her husband. Unable to bring a beautiful life into this world so I can raise it up right and raise him/her in the Lord. A child that can bring a great sense of purpose and love into my life. I feel broken.

But the next words: Love is here. Love is now.
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brows.
Love is near, it satisfies. streams of mercy flowing from His side.
Cuz love is here.

His love is here, right now. His mercy is new every day, His love is here for me every morning with the sunrise and holds me as I drift to sleep in the sunset. And not just droplets of love, but pouring, overflowing, everlasting streams of love. Love that brings purpose to my life, to my husbands life, whether we are childless or not.

And to the bruised and fallen,
captives, bound, and broken hearted.

He is the lord
He is the lord,

In it all, HE IS THE LORD! He is my Lord, whether I'm on the top of the mountain, excited about new things, or down in the pit, fallen by shame and brokenness, captive by my pain, bound by my desire and yearning, and broken hearted by my shattered dreams. HE IS LORD. He is my Lord, NO MATTER WHAT. And I'm not alone through this. My God is with me, and Matt. Beside me holding me, nourishing and refreshing me with His living waters. Loving me through these trials...And you know what? He really does satisfy. But I have to take the step, I have to except His living waters, and refresh my spirit. And in the midst of the pain and deep dark grief, its a very hard thing to do.

I'm in tears as I write b/c I truly am broken hearted and empty. I yearn so very deeply for my children. I dream about them, loving them, holding them. I dream of when that day comes that they are mine and physically with me, and no longer just a dream. I grieve the loss of the innocence that started 5 years ago, that sweet sweet innocence. I have no idea if I'm making any sense, I'm just writing as my heart flows with the tears.

For now, all I can do is hold on to my faith, even my frayed tattered faith, but its still there. Maybe my tears are the physical of His living waters, soothing my weary broken soul. Maybe its His waters that will fill the emptiness inside of me. Maybe one day I'll come out the other side of this and still know that My God is LORD. Til that day comes when my tears are for joy, that is all I can hold on to, My LORD and his streams of flowing Love...Love is here...

Have a blessed day in the Lord.