I've been in percocet la la land, so a post probably would not have made much sense! I'm doing well, surgery was successful, my appendix is GONE, endo is GONE, and my tubes are wide open! Praise God! It means we will be able to try to get pregnant "naturally" until we go through the testing and stuff. The first 6 months after a lap, my fertility is "increased". So we might as well take advantage of it!! :D
Otherwise I'm OK. I'm pretty sore, and out of it, but doing OK. I'll be off of work another week, but we're off anyway b/c of thanksgiving on Thursday.
So not much else going on, just chillin' and alternating from the couch to the bed! :) Hope everyone is well! Have a blessed day in the Lord.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sorry I've been MIA...
Been a bit crazy, and just processing all the info that has been crammed in my brain the last few weeks!!! There are so many things I'm having to process and prepare my heart for. Its been overwhelming, but Matt and my mom and my FRIENDS have been fantastic listening boards to bounce my thoughts off of.
Not only that, Matt's brothers and sister were all here at the same time this weekend! We got to see our nieces and nephew (who are getting SO big!!) and also Matt's long lost family! He has been blown away with excitement (his Mum too!) and we've been over there every day this week since Sunday! Its been a nice distraction from the pain...
I'm also preparing for my surgery, which is tomorrow. I had pre-op last week and had a nice discussion with my GYN, Dr. V. He is FANTASTIC. And lemme tell ya, he is a God-fearin', Jesus-lovin', born again Christian! (he goes to our church, which its a little odd to see your HOO HOO doc at church! LOL) Anyway we were talking about our situation and how his colleague really thinks there is not much time left with my girlie parts. Dr. V tends to agree, but he also knows that we have this chance now. He told me that he just prays that God will bless my womb and our family with the child we so desire. He is so compassionate to our situation! This man prays with us before surgery!! Its pretty cool! So just the fact that he is the one cuttin' makes me feel better.
Also i talked with him about having my appendix out. We've had SO many false alarms with ruptured cysts thinking that my appendix was going to rupture, that Dr. V agreed, its time for it to come out. B/c one of these days I'm not going to pay attention to the horrible pain, and it will be my appy instead of a cyst, and it will pop and we'll have a PROBLEM! So another surgeon who i actually saw in the hospital, will be removing my appendix when I'm under for the Endo. So I'll be staying over night at palms west. FUN OH FUN.
OH update on Matt. Went to MD on Monday. HE IS CLEARED 100% TO BE BACK AT WORK FULL TIME!!! PRAISE THE LORD! He is back to his normal self!
So I'll be out and about for a few days, but will try and post an update in a few days after surgery. Or maybe I'll have Matt actually post!! Its worth a shot. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to struggle with the financial aspect, the IF aspect, and now the healing from surgery!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Not only that, Matt's brothers and sister were all here at the same time this weekend! We got to see our nieces and nephew (who are getting SO big!!) and also Matt's long lost family! He has been blown away with excitement (his Mum too!) and we've been over there every day this week since Sunday! Its been a nice distraction from the pain...
I'm also preparing for my surgery, which is tomorrow. I had pre-op last week and had a nice discussion with my GYN, Dr. V. He is FANTASTIC. And lemme tell ya, he is a God-fearin', Jesus-lovin', born again Christian! (he goes to our church, which its a little odd to see your HOO HOO doc at church! LOL) Anyway we were talking about our situation and how his colleague really thinks there is not much time left with my girlie parts. Dr. V tends to agree, but he also knows that we have this chance now. He told me that he just prays that God will bless my womb and our family with the child we so desire. He is so compassionate to our situation! This man prays with us before surgery!! Its pretty cool! So just the fact that he is the one cuttin' makes me feel better.
Also i talked with him about having my appendix out. We've had SO many false alarms with ruptured cysts thinking that my appendix was going to rupture, that Dr. V agreed, its time for it to come out. B/c one of these days I'm not going to pay attention to the horrible pain, and it will be my appy instead of a cyst, and it will pop and we'll have a PROBLEM! So another surgeon who i actually saw in the hospital, will be removing my appendix when I'm under for the Endo. So I'll be staying over night at palms west. FUN OH FUN.
OH update on Matt. Went to MD on Monday. HE IS CLEARED 100% TO BE BACK AT WORK FULL TIME!!! PRAISE THE LORD! He is back to his normal self!
So I'll be out and about for a few days, but will try and post an update in a few days after surgery. Or maybe I'll have Matt actually post!! Its worth a shot. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to struggle with the financial aspect, the IF aspect, and now the healing from surgery!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
A new day...
And a bit of an update.
So pain is been pretty off and on, more on then off. And pretty intense at times. But for now I'm ok and back to work today after taking yesterday off again. Surgery is scheduled for the 20th and I'll miss about 4 days then it falls over Turkey break, so we're OK with clinic coverage, but its an additional 3 days w/o pay. Unfortunately I am out of sick/vacation time, and about 10 of the 12 1/2 days I've missed will be unpaid. Um that is a complete paycheck, about $1500 take home pay. We are FREAKING out just a tad of course, but God has provided thus far, whats another $1500, right? I'm looking into my short term diability and how it works with the intermittant leave I've been taking. So we'll see. Pray for provisions please! Thank you!
So that's it, surgery is soon, I can make it until then. And just hoping for God's provision and rest, and healing. Thanks everyone! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
So pain is been pretty off and on, more on then off. And pretty intense at times. But for now I'm ok and back to work today after taking yesterday off again. Surgery is scheduled for the 20th and I'll miss about 4 days then it falls over Turkey break, so we're OK with clinic coverage, but its an additional 3 days w/o pay. Unfortunately I am out of sick/vacation time, and about 10 of the 12 1/2 days I've missed will be unpaid. Um that is a complete paycheck, about $1500 take home pay. We are FREAKING out just a tad of course, but God has provided thus far, whats another $1500, right? I'm looking into my short term diability and how it works with the intermittant leave I've been taking. So we'll see. Pray for provisions please! Thank you!
So that's it, surgery is soon, I can make it until then. And just hoping for God's provision and rest, and healing. Thanks everyone! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Overwhelming day...
So I, rather we, had our RE (reproductive endocrinology) appt today. And I'm beyond overwhelmed...I have already had a mini break down, OK honestly SEVERAL mini breakdowns, I'm sure more to come...I'm frustrated, angry and annoyed that we have to go through IF, and taken aback by the cost and just everything. This is gonna be long folks, so grab a snack while you read!
First off, went to GYN this morning and he informed me that I had a ruptured cyst, probably what caused the pain, and continued pain. Will be a bit before I bounce back. Especially b/c it is probably irritating and already irritated section of my body. He also thinks I need a lap for the Endometriosis, but wanted the RE to make the decision. RE agrees w/ ruptured cyst diagnosis. He doesn't care one way or the other if I do a lap now, so if I need pain relief, that's between my GYN and me. So I'm gonna call tomorrow to have him schedule ASAP, b/c i no feel good. I'm taking percocet around the clock and I'm pale, weak, and shaky. They kept asking me at Dr. R (RE) if I was OK b/c I was so pale. Even Matt shared I looked like crap. Thanks hun.
I'm so overwhelmed. Now I know some of you money is not an issue and little bits here and there don't seem like a lot, but for us, money is always a problem. When your buying new equipment, and physical therapy and junk like what we've got to do for Matt and such each month or every 6 months or whenever, it drains income. We're very blessed that we've had so much help, but sometimes we are begging God for the help to make it month to month. And of course He provides. So its overwhelming to have more debt just to try and GET preggie. AND its angers me to no end that we have to SPEND this much and be in debt for a chance, so don't mind the frustration. IF SUCKS and is NOT FAIR!!! But we knew that.
That said.
Just prelim testing WITH insurance will be $1000, which we don't have. Matt has to have a special SA (semen analysis) thing that is $595, that is the SA itself and something called SDD(sperm DNA decodensation assay) He also has to have multiple labs drawn b/c of low counts, and check for the missing y link blah blah thingy in his blood. Some we can send out, some we can't so those that have to be done in house are $250.
Now my stuff: When my period begins I have to go in for a CD3 (cycle day) lab draws for all the hormones (FSH, LH, Prog, Estrogen, LMNOP you know the usual) AND do a GTT (glucose check for diabetes and hypoglycemia) and check for insulin resistance, which was never done by any other docs when diagnosed with PCOS. I'm also doing the cortisol saliva test the night before to check for Cushing's disease, which will probably be negative, but b/c of PCOS and how it is similar to cushings, they check. They'll also do an u/s (trans vag of course) and check for "Egg production" fun oh fun. Lemme tell you how much fun an internal u/s is during your period.
Then on CD 8, 9 or 10 I have to have a cervical and endometrial biopsy. Which requires me to take 4 Advil and hour before and feel crampy for lovely hours after that. Thank God I've got some percocet near by, Just in case!! Now its about $275 out of pocket for this stuff for me...(i know chump change to some, but a lot for us) with all the other odds and ends its about $1000 JUST FOR PRELIM. sigh
Then about 3 weeks later we will regroup wait for test results and come up with a plan. Which all signs are pointing toward IVF which runs approx $18-20,000. Yes you can pick up your jaw from the floor. It truly is that much. And mind you, this is to make a baby, something that is normally FREE and FUN...Right.
Peachy. Now the fun part. I'm too fat. Yes that's right, my BMI (Body Mass Index) is to high and I have to see a nutritional chick and exercise 5x week for 45 min a day. Or rather work up to it. And I need to get my BMI under 30% before they prefer to start doing treatments. B/c for every BMI score above 30 you have a 5% increased chance in failure. And being my BMI is 37% I have a 35% GREATER chance in failure on TOP of our endo, PCOS, and MF issues. Nothing like a gut busting blow to end the day. He changed my Metformin which I take for the PCOS to XR or extended release and to take it all at once at dinner time. Which is fine, so that should help if I do indeed have insulin resistance, and to give a steady level of insulin/BG. So i have to start a PCOS diet and exercise and get nice and thin, which I've never been in my life. TO even get below 30% i need to lose 50lbs, which is such an overwhelming goal for me I could scream. So to know on top of being an IF chick, I'm a fat IF chick. I've struggled with weight my whole life, and now to be told its part of why I can't get pg, is down right insulting, hurtful, frustrating. Especially b/c every day at work I see obese, drug addicts, unhealthy people get PG. And the catch is that I've gained so much weight BECAUSE of treatments, and now its hindering me continuing. He wasn't mean or anything about it, very matter of fact, just another low blow and a tad bit of a crush to my weak wobbly ego. So diet/exercise specifically for PCOS, dietitian. Should be fun. Oh she costs $100...
I'm so overwhelmed, and all we are doing is testing. WE wasted THOUSANDS of dollars at the other RE for nothing, and here we have to start all over. Its not fair, its not fair we have to do this, and pay so much money. I hate IF. I HATE IT! grr. so I'm melting down something fierce. I don't feel good, I hurt physically and mentally. Probably doesn't help that I'm still so icky from the cyst POPPING. There are days I wonder what Matt and I did to deserve this path...All we want, is to be parents. My friend H said it perfect today. IF is not a JOURNEY, but rather a hijacking! B/c I did not CHOOSE this path, I was forced upon it. I like that terminology. I feel so much like we are being punished, or that maybe we're not meant to be...But the idea of that hurts so much, I could scream or puke, or both. sigh
So that's it so far, Matt goes for the SA stuff next week, and I go see the nutritionist in about 3 weeks. and lord willing for a lap this week or next. If you are worn out from reading, you'll see how I'm feeling. I know God has a plan for our life. And this RE seems like he is extremely thorough and with a high success rate. He was very nice and compassionate to my "I'm fat cow" melt down that I had, and I know he wasn't trying to be hurtful. But when you've had this struggle your whole life, and now it keeps you from the dream you've always had. Well, quite frankly, IT SUCKS. But I think he is a good choice for the next phase, the last phase, of trying to conceive. Because folks, realistically, this is our last chance...
I guess if we do go forward with IVF, it will be next summer give or take. Gives us about 6-8 months to raise money and get my weight down. (Be in thoughts for ideas peoples. We need to fundraise!) Please pray for us over the next few weeks. I'm overwhelmed absorbing all of this. Its been a very overwhelming couple of days!!! You who is reading, are you crazed yet? :)
Thanks. Me and my percocet brain are going to bed. Have a blessed day in the Lord.
First off, went to GYN this morning and he informed me that I had a ruptured cyst, probably what caused the pain, and continued pain. Will be a bit before I bounce back. Especially b/c it is probably irritating and already irritated section of my body. He also thinks I need a lap for the Endometriosis, but wanted the RE to make the decision. RE agrees w/ ruptured cyst diagnosis. He doesn't care one way or the other if I do a lap now, so if I need pain relief, that's between my GYN and me. So I'm gonna call tomorrow to have him schedule ASAP, b/c i no feel good. I'm taking percocet around the clock and I'm pale, weak, and shaky. They kept asking me at Dr. R (RE) if I was OK b/c I was so pale. Even Matt shared I looked like crap. Thanks hun.
I'm so overwhelmed. Now I know some of you money is not an issue and little bits here and there don't seem like a lot, but for us, money is always a problem. When your buying new equipment, and physical therapy and junk like what we've got to do for Matt and such each month or every 6 months or whenever, it drains income. We're very blessed that we've had so much help, but sometimes we are begging God for the help to make it month to month. And of course He provides. So its overwhelming to have more debt just to try and GET preggie. AND its angers me to no end that we have to SPEND this much and be in debt for a chance, so don't mind the frustration. IF SUCKS and is NOT FAIR!!! But we knew that.
That said.
Just prelim testing WITH insurance will be $1000, which we don't have. Matt has to have a special SA (semen analysis) thing that is $595, that is the SA itself and something called SDD(sperm DNA decodensation assay) He also has to have multiple labs drawn b/c of low counts, and check for the missing y link blah blah thingy in his blood. Some we can send out, some we can't so those that have to be done in house are $250.
Now my stuff: When my period begins I have to go in for a CD3 (cycle day) lab draws for all the hormones (FSH, LH, Prog, Estrogen, LMNOP you know the usual) AND do a GTT (glucose check for diabetes and hypoglycemia) and check for insulin resistance, which was never done by any other docs when diagnosed with PCOS. I'm also doing the cortisol saliva test the night before to check for Cushing's disease, which will probably be negative, but b/c of PCOS and how it is similar to cushings, they check. They'll also do an u/s (trans vag of course) and check for "Egg production" fun oh fun. Lemme tell you how much fun an internal u/s is during your period.
Then on CD 8, 9 or 10 I have to have a cervical and endometrial biopsy. Which requires me to take 4 Advil and hour before and feel crampy for lovely hours after that. Thank God I've got some percocet near by, Just in case!! Now its about $275 out of pocket for this stuff for me...(i know chump change to some, but a lot for us) with all the other odds and ends its about $1000 JUST FOR PRELIM. sigh
Then about 3 weeks later we will regroup wait for test results and come up with a plan. Which all signs are pointing toward IVF which runs approx $18-20,000. Yes you can pick up your jaw from the floor. It truly is that much. And mind you, this is to make a baby, something that is normally FREE and FUN...Right.
Peachy. Now the fun part. I'm too fat. Yes that's right, my BMI (Body Mass Index) is to high and I have to see a nutritional chick and exercise 5x week for 45 min a day. Or rather work up to it. And I need to get my BMI under 30% before they prefer to start doing treatments. B/c for every BMI score above 30 you have a 5% increased chance in failure. And being my BMI is 37% I have a 35% GREATER chance in failure on TOP of our endo, PCOS, and MF issues. Nothing like a gut busting blow to end the day. He changed my Metformin which I take for the PCOS to XR or extended release and to take it all at once at dinner time. Which is fine, so that should help if I do indeed have insulin resistance, and to give a steady level of insulin/BG. So i have to start a PCOS diet and exercise and get nice and thin, which I've never been in my life. TO even get below 30% i need to lose 50lbs, which is such an overwhelming goal for me I could scream. So to know on top of being an IF chick, I'm a fat IF chick. I've struggled with weight my whole life, and now to be told its part of why I can't get pg, is down right insulting, hurtful, frustrating. Especially b/c every day at work I see obese, drug addicts, unhealthy people get PG. And the catch is that I've gained so much weight BECAUSE of treatments, and now its hindering me continuing. He wasn't mean or anything about it, very matter of fact, just another low blow and a tad bit of a crush to my weak wobbly ego. So diet/exercise specifically for PCOS, dietitian. Should be fun. Oh she costs $100...
I'm so overwhelmed, and all we are doing is testing. WE wasted THOUSANDS of dollars at the other RE for nothing, and here we have to start all over. Its not fair, its not fair we have to do this, and pay so much money. I hate IF. I HATE IT! grr. so I'm melting down something fierce. I don't feel good, I hurt physically and mentally. Probably doesn't help that I'm still so icky from the cyst POPPING. There are days I wonder what Matt and I did to deserve this path...All we want, is to be parents. My friend H said it perfect today. IF is not a JOURNEY, but rather a hijacking! B/c I did not CHOOSE this path, I was forced upon it. I like that terminology. I feel so much like we are being punished, or that maybe we're not meant to be...But the idea of that hurts so much, I could scream or puke, or both. sigh
So that's it so far, Matt goes for the SA stuff next week, and I go see the nutritionist in about 3 weeks. and lord willing for a lap this week or next. If you are worn out from reading, you'll see how I'm feeling. I know God has a plan for our life. And this RE seems like he is extremely thorough and with a high success rate. He was very nice and compassionate to my "I'm fat cow" melt down that I had, and I know he wasn't trying to be hurtful. But when you've had this struggle your whole life, and now it keeps you from the dream you've always had. Well, quite frankly, IT SUCKS. But I think he is a good choice for the next phase, the last phase, of trying to conceive. Because folks, realistically, this is our last chance...
I guess if we do go forward with IVF, it will be next summer give or take. Gives us about 6-8 months to raise money and get my weight down. (Be in thoughts for ideas peoples. We need to fundraise!) Please pray for us over the next few weeks. I'm overwhelmed absorbing all of this. Its been a very overwhelming couple of days!!! You who is reading, are you crazed yet? :)
Thanks. Me and my percocet brain are going to bed. Have a blessed day in the Lord.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My turn for the Hospital.
Sheesh we got one day off from matt's IV d/c and then I end up in the hospital.
I'm real woozy so forgive me if this is garbly or whatever...I'm on percocet every 5-6 hours and it knocks me for a loop...oh and its gonna be a long post!!!
On Thurs I wasn't feeling good and had seen the doc. Been having lots of lower rt quadrent pain and just feeling over all yuckies. Well MD set me up for an ultra sound (u/s) on Friday drew a bunch of labs and told me to go to the ER if I felt worse or started vomiting. Well a couple hours later I spiked a low grade temp and started vomiting. Pain was intense (8 or 9 out of a 10 pain scale) and it was constant, then would surge to a 2011!! and go back to a constant 8 or 9...pretty much felt like crapola. :( So Matt took me to the hospital...
I walked in and they ushered me back pretty quick, got IV, anti pukey meds, blood work all that. My white count came back elevated, and I was droppen wbc's in my urine. (weird?? no UTI) So they did a CT scan, had to drink 3 cans of gatorade w/contrast! GAG they did a u/s a trans vag u/s, and then the CT with contrast...(here is the funny part, gave me demoral for pain before the u/s, I FELL ASLEEP during the trans vag! LOL the lady had to wake me up, how weird is that?? Never had such a "pleasent" u/s HA!)
Um well based on symptoms, and bloodwork, ER doc admitted me for a consult with surgery (sx) for an appendicitis. but then the CT scan came back negative for inflammation. But ER didn't care and wanted to make sure it was cleared for sure before sending me home. (thank you ER doc) so came in to ER by 8pm and was admitted by midnight. Not to bad. Didn't go to the room until 330am, but at least I wasn't stuck in the ER for all of it.
The house doc came in that morning and I had just taken some heavy duty dilaudid pain meds, so I was OUT OF IT and w/o pain so he was like "your fine, we'll send you home when sx sees you". Which made me so mad b/c something was wrong. No not an appy maybe, but SOMETHING. So i refused pain meds until the sx doc came to see me. Which really was awful b/c I was HURTING something fearce the 5 HOURS later when sx arrived. So sx came, and again said it wasn't an appy b/c of the neg CT but he agreed something was wrong b/c u/s showed free fluid in the pelvic region and a very thick "irregular" lining, but no large cysts, and my elevated WBC's. BUT HE SAW ME IN PAIN and believed something was off b/c of that. So he wanted to consult MY gyn b/c he'd worked with him before, so we called him and of course he was out of town. but his partner came...but then I got pain meds and i was much happier! and they let me eat since no immediate sx.
Here comes that crapola part:
GYN came in, tends to agree with sx that its not appy and i have a "benign belly" however obviously something is wrong. (DUH) he was very sweet, sat down next to me with mom and just talked for 1/2 hr. Said it seems like I need a lap, but its not "emergant" so we want to wait fo rmy doc Dr. V to do surgery, but wanted to watch me one more night, do labs and then send me home if all normal. Anyway he is sure I have adhesions that are pulling and causing the severe pain. Possibly a "stuck" ovary? but its hard to tell from the outside. He listened to my history and asked my staging and all that. and through that he basically said that I'm running out of time. That i'm going in to "pelvic failure" due to my 18 year history of endo and all the surgeries and all that. He said i'm headed toward a hysterectomy ( LOTS OF TEARS ) so I lost it of course, poor guy had a weepy drugged chick on his hands. His recommendation is to clean me out ASAP like next week if possible, GO TO THE RE (the new specialist we're gonna see) on Monday (b/c it will provide a chance, and hope and possibilities), gyn went to school with our new RE and he is one of the best! Praise god on that and he is on my insurance! YAY, and that matt and I need to devote the next 12-18 months to try and get PG...B/c i'm almost out of time, my uterus and system is just not gonna last to much longer. and pain like this I can NOT function, nor can I function on percocet around the clock. (NOt that I want to! BLEH) So real bomb shell, kind of confirmation that we need to move forward like we want to, but now we've got to figure out how, what we can do, what we should do, what we can afford to do... I'm so not ready to give up that dream of a bio child and/or carrying a child from Embryo adoption (more on that in the future).
So matt and I have had a lot of conversations the last 12-18 hrs...So anyway got a horrid hangover migraine from the dilaudid, so switched to the percs, which don't get rid of all the pain, but make it manageable. SO I go to the RE appt on Monday and try and get into GYN on Tues or monday morning, and see about having a lap and getting into treatments to get PG...I'm jumping in full force, now we'll see if I can sink or swim! OIY.
My bloodwork was back to normal this AM, and pain has not differed any, and no fever, so they felt OK to send me home. No reason to wait at the hospital for a surgery that may not be till end ov next week or later. I'm to return if pain worsens and temp >101. No work till Wednesday but if we can get me in for surgery, we'll just miss out the week. We'll see, haven't talked with my boss yet, she'll be thrilled I'm sure! UGH.
SIGH so its been a crazy weekend, I still feel yucky, and hurt. But I'm gonna have to just suck it up and take it on like the rest of my pain, try and work through it. the GYN was very sweet and understanding, He explained endo adhesions like this: he said the peritoneal cavity is VERY sensitive, and if you take your finger, put super glue on it and touch your eyeball and PULL, its gonna hurt like heck! He said that the peritoneal cavity is that sensitive, so if you have an adhesion, its like pulling glue and causes severe pain. And being all the other stuff was ruled out, endo is the logical conclusion.
If you made it this far you are an angel! Sorry tend to ramble more when drugged. But it IS my blog!! :) So that's it. Pain meds, rest, and MD appts. And prayer's for a pregnancy, or God showing me its time to move past biological and on to adoption. But it will be a loss I'll have to grieve! b/c I so yearn to carry a child, bio or EA...Just a lot to process, and its hard to process on drugs! hee hee...
So that's it. More later, Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
I'm real woozy so forgive me if this is garbly or whatever...I'm on percocet every 5-6 hours and it knocks me for a loop...oh and its gonna be a long post!!!
On Thurs I wasn't feeling good and had seen the doc. Been having lots of lower rt quadrent pain and just feeling over all yuckies. Well MD set me up for an ultra sound (u/s) on Friday drew a bunch of labs and told me to go to the ER if I felt worse or started vomiting. Well a couple hours later I spiked a low grade temp and started vomiting. Pain was intense (8 or 9 out of a 10 pain scale) and it was constant, then would surge to a 2011!! and go back to a constant 8 or 9...pretty much felt like crapola. :( So Matt took me to the hospital...
I walked in and they ushered me back pretty quick, got IV, anti pukey meds, blood work all that. My white count came back elevated, and I was droppen wbc's in my urine. (weird?? no UTI) So they did a CT scan, had to drink 3 cans of gatorade w/contrast! GAG they did a u/s a trans vag u/s, and then the CT with contrast...(here is the funny part, gave me demoral for pain before the u/s, I FELL ASLEEP during the trans vag! LOL the lady had to wake me up, how weird is that?? Never had such a "pleasent" u/s HA!)
Um well based on symptoms, and bloodwork, ER doc admitted me for a consult with surgery (sx) for an appendicitis. but then the CT scan came back negative for inflammation. But ER didn't care and wanted to make sure it was cleared for sure before sending me home. (thank you ER doc) so came in to ER by 8pm and was admitted by midnight. Not to bad. Didn't go to the room until 330am, but at least I wasn't stuck in the ER for all of it.
The house doc came in that morning and I had just taken some heavy duty dilaudid pain meds, so I was OUT OF IT and w/o pain so he was like "your fine, we'll send you home when sx sees you". Which made me so mad b/c something was wrong. No not an appy maybe, but SOMETHING. So i refused pain meds until the sx doc came to see me. Which really was awful b/c I was HURTING something fearce the 5 HOURS later when sx arrived. So sx came, and again said it wasn't an appy b/c of the neg CT but he agreed something was wrong b/c u/s showed free fluid in the pelvic region and a very thick "irregular" lining, but no large cysts, and my elevated WBC's. BUT HE SAW ME IN PAIN and believed something was off b/c of that. So he wanted to consult MY gyn b/c he'd worked with him before, so we called him and of course he was out of town. but his partner came...but then I got pain meds and i was much happier! and they let me eat since no immediate sx.
Here comes that crapola part:
GYN came in, tends to agree with sx that its not appy and i have a "benign belly" however obviously something is wrong. (DUH) he was very sweet, sat down next to me with mom and just talked for 1/2 hr. Said it seems like I need a lap, but its not "emergant" so we want to wait fo rmy doc Dr. V to do surgery, but wanted to watch me one more night, do labs and then send me home if all normal. Anyway he is sure I have adhesions that are pulling and causing the severe pain. Possibly a "stuck" ovary? but its hard to tell from the outside. He listened to my history and asked my staging and all that. and through that he basically said that I'm running out of time. That i'm going in to "pelvic failure" due to my 18 year history of endo and all the surgeries and all that. He said i'm headed toward a hysterectomy ( LOTS OF TEARS ) so I lost it of course, poor guy had a weepy drugged chick on his hands. His recommendation is to clean me out ASAP like next week if possible, GO TO THE RE (the new specialist we're gonna see) on Monday (b/c it will provide a chance, and hope and possibilities), gyn went to school with our new RE and he is one of the best! Praise god on that and he is on my insurance! YAY, and that matt and I need to devote the next 12-18 months to try and get PG...B/c i'm almost out of time, my uterus and system is just not gonna last to much longer. and pain like this I can NOT function, nor can I function on percocet around the clock. (NOt that I want to! BLEH) So real bomb shell, kind of confirmation that we need to move forward like we want to, but now we've got to figure out how, what we can do, what we should do, what we can afford to do... I'm so not ready to give up that dream of a bio child and/or carrying a child from Embryo adoption (more on that in the future).
So matt and I have had a lot of conversations the last 12-18 hrs...So anyway got a horrid hangover migraine from the dilaudid, so switched to the percs, which don't get rid of all the pain, but make it manageable. SO I go to the RE appt on Monday and try and get into GYN on Tues or monday morning, and see about having a lap and getting into treatments to get PG...I'm jumping in full force, now we'll see if I can sink or swim! OIY.
My bloodwork was back to normal this AM, and pain has not differed any, and no fever, so they felt OK to send me home. No reason to wait at the hospital for a surgery that may not be till end ov next week or later. I'm to return if pain worsens and temp >101. No work till Wednesday but if we can get me in for surgery, we'll just miss out the week. We'll see, haven't talked with my boss yet, she'll be thrilled I'm sure! UGH.
SIGH so its been a crazy weekend, I still feel yucky, and hurt. But I'm gonna have to just suck it up and take it on like the rest of my pain, try and work through it. the GYN was very sweet and understanding, He explained endo adhesions like this: he said the peritoneal cavity is VERY sensitive, and if you take your finger, put super glue on it and touch your eyeball and PULL, its gonna hurt like heck! He said that the peritoneal cavity is that sensitive, so if you have an adhesion, its like pulling glue and causes severe pain. And being all the other stuff was ruled out, endo is the logical conclusion.
If you made it this far you are an angel! Sorry tend to ramble more when drugged. But it IS my blog!! :) So that's it. Pain meds, rest, and MD appts. And prayer's for a pregnancy, or God showing me its time to move past biological and on to adoption. But it will be a loss I'll have to grieve! b/c I so yearn to carry a child, bio or EA...Just a lot to process, and its hard to process on drugs! hee hee...
So that's it. More later, Have a blessed day in the Lord!!
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