Sunday, June 3, 2007

Feeling quite broken...

I'm having a hard day today....I'm feeling the weight of infertility (IF) and it is so heavy....I'm feel like a broken person, not quite a woman, not quite a wife, b/c I can not offer my hubby, or myself for that matter, I can not offer him a child, a product of our union and our marriage. Days like today it is hard to rejoice for those who have gone on to have kids or are making them...And then I feel less christian like, less like a normal human being, like a horrible person, b/c my heart is so heavy I can't even rejoice with the glorious news of the coming of a new life, an new miracle from God. I don't understand why God allows IF. Why matt and I, and so many of my friends, have to carry this burden. It hurts. I hurt.

I love the Lord God with all my heart, but IF is just not fair. Before I'm told life isn't always fair, please spare me. I know it's not. But tonight, it is feeling more unfair then usual, and my heart is broken, and just plain ol' hurts. Pray for me, for us, tonight if you read this.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

2 comments:

Thelma said...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." - 2 Cor. 1:3,4
Talley, my sweet, beautiful friend, I am in prayer for you today... prayer to the God who understands how much this hurts, and who keeps all our tears in his bottle. Much love,
Thelma

TMac said...

Aww. Thanks my friend!!