Happy After Christmas

And Merry Before New year... Wait that's backwards.

So. Just a quickie update to the MacIntosh life. We had a fabulous Christmas, see the photos attached. We spent Cmas Eve with my mom and dad, then Cmas morning with Matt's mom and step dad and sister. Then we traveled to Miami and had our Cmas gathering there! It was tons of fun and all things considered we really enjoyed ourselves.

I started working (babysitting) on Sunday and am booked solid til I go back to school. (next Monday) I have a lovely family that has been an ease to sit for and is heavy handed on the tips! YAY. Its weird b/c its "night shift" from 8p to 2a every night this week. Matt and I are passing each other by like we did when we were first married!!

Overall we've been doing good. Matt developed a fever yesterday (103!!!) and has had it continuously since then. No other symptoms, just a fever and general fatigue. I'm hoping he didn't catch my brother's flu that he brought with him to Miami. He's been home from work the last 2 days and won't go back unless his fever stays broken. Which it has yet to do.

So that is all, just working and dealing with sickie. Typical days in our household! Here are some pictures in the next post. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Christmas Pictures

OK so the pics are backwards and the posts are on a seperate page. Sorry blogger was being ODD. So here you go, enjoy.

Aunt Kathy earning the giant pair of underpants!!


















"The Kathleens" Aunt Kathy and Cody Kathleen














Aunt Kerry and Cody














Matt's Mom and Step Dad and then with his sis Liz




































Matt and Me and Matt, me and Liz




























My Parents and Us













Dad and Penny snuggling on a chair

SHOUT OUT TO BETH!!!

So my dear friend that I've know since I was a kid and now as an adult, gave us the blessing of our photos!! Lemme tell you. If you need your pictures done, and you live around here, SHE IS THE CHICK TO DO IT! As you can see with our new blog photo, that she did a fabulous job!! I'm so thrilled!! And I'm going to share some of my fave's with you!!

Beth, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this blessing!! Matt and I have been OOOing and AWWing for the last few hours, just trying to figure out who to give what to and where to put up more pics in our house!! It means so much to us!! Thank you! May God bless you abundantly for giving of your self and your gift to us!!! XOXO

OK pics to come but first an update. Not that there is much to update!! Outside of I'm now officially on my first cycle post lap. So let the "trying" begin. For those who follow us, your prayers would be appreciated, as we jump back on the wagon with attempting to make a miracle. I'm feeling good physically, FINALLY!! I'm feeling human again, and its a nice feeling. I'm officially off of work for the next oh 15 days!! YAY! Much needed break. Matt and I spent today having our pics done, shopping, cleaning the house, and relaxing. Tomorrow I'm baking with my friend R and mom. And then begins the Christmas festivities. Its hard to believe its Christmas time already!

Thankfully I have some work lined up already for the days I'm off. 5 days in a row after Christmas!! Money that will help with the bills! Thank you Lord! Times can be tough, but God is pulling us through. And for that, I'm feeling very thankful this Christmas season.

Well I'm off to take a shower and watch a movie with Matt!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Just a quick hello!!

Life is CRAZY! And when I say crazy, I mean C R A Z Y! I'm pretty much healed from surgery. Cleared for full duty as of next Monday, all tho I'm already doing all the "full duty" stuff. I'm finally beginning to feel human again! Its so nice. And my pain is so minimal! After several weeks of intense constant yuck pain, its nice to feel normal. My Doc is thrilled b/c during all this chaos, I've lost 12lbs. My pants are falling off!! I'm happy, its a nice head start to the remaining 60-something I want to lose!

So Wednesday, my lovely hubby and I and our dear friends J and R went to see Jeff Dunham. It was so much fun and have pictures I need to post!! I'm at work tho so pictures are not readily available. Anyway the humor was just what Matt and I needed after all the chaos this year. The only thing hard was the 2am bedtime and getting up at 6. Um not so good!! But last night I made up for it by going to bed at 8pm (with the help of a lovely sleeping pill!!).

Hmm, what else. This week at work has been nuts. Not bad per say, just really really busy. Here's an example for you of all the stuff I did, a print out of my week schedule:

Procedures; 20
Office Visits: 62
Medications: 16
Vitals Check: 3
Consultation: 10
Education/Screenings: 135

so break down, i saw tons of kids, had 2 dcf calls, 1 parent and 2 teachers almost pummel me, 2 911 calls and I taught/reprimanded 135 5th grade students about teasing/bullying (7 -20min classes)

So busy...but it was a successful week... Our extended family is still in need of prayers please, but we are holding each other up knowing that God is in control and it WILL be OK.

OK I'm off. we have a bday party tonight and I have a cmas party with some friends. oh, and I'm baking with my friend H tomorrow. Our 3rd annual Christmas Cookie Sweatshop!! Its a blast and I cant wait. So everyone, have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

When it rains, it pours...

SO, my lovely kids at work thought it would be nice to share with me a welcome back present. One of my special needs kids shared Roto Virus with me. Basically its the stomach bug from HELL!! GAG me. I spent most of yesterday in constant heaving and icky-ness. Thank the Lord we had some anti-pukey meds at the house and I was finally able to stop after about 3 1/2 hrs of constant puking! I lost 7 pounds SEVEN pounds in one day. Talk about being squeaky clean inside.

I'm feeling much better today, all tho every muscle in my body hurts, and my lovely post op areas are sorer then normal. But my gastric system has calmed down and i am tolerating gatorade, crackers, and applesauce! Sadly I missed another day of work, so our already scary lack of funds, has another day gone as well. Please continued prayers for our finances.

So life is just crazy as always! Also, our family is going through some crisis and could really use some prayers. For now it must stay between our family but we'll pass on the specifics as soon as I'm allowed to share. Just please pray for all of us!! Times are hard now.

That's it for now. Hope everyone is doing well! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Hi Everyone!!

Sorry I've been out of the world of blogging. Really not much going on except recovery. I'm doing OK. Post op went well, all tho still another 2-4 weeks of really getting back to normal. My outside is healed quite nicely, but my insides need some more time.

I started back to work yesterday. Outside of overwhelming fatigue and some soreness, I'm doing OK. Work has been very loving and showing me how much I was missed! They even sent flowers to work to welcome me back!! Nice right?? I feel loved! Glad they missed me!! I sorta missed them too! HA! ☺

So not much going on, see? Just getting through the day so I can get home and go to bed!! My goal in life is to currently make it to BEDTIME. I'm on light duty at work for 2 more weeks. No lifting, excessive bending or standing. Which is honestly not a problem b/c I'm TOO TIRED!! But you know, I'm doing OK!

So that's it. I can't believe its Christmas time already! All tho I don't know if we'll get a tree this year. We are barely making bills, and there just aren't any extras. Thank God for a Starbucks gift card that I got my YUMMY coffee with this morning. ☺Please continue to pray for our financial situation. We are SAFE for December, but January is going to be EXTREMELY difficult! But God has provided so far, so I'm holding faith He will again!! Have a blessed day in the Lord my friends!

Just an Update...

I've been in percocet la la land, so a post probably would not have made much sense! I'm doing well, surgery was successful, my appendix is GONE, endo is GONE, and my tubes are wide open! Praise God! It means we will be able to try to get pregnant "naturally" until we go through the testing and stuff. The first 6 months after a lap, my fertility is "increased". So we might as well take advantage of it!! :D

Otherwise I'm OK. I'm pretty sore, and out of it, but doing OK. I'll be off of work another week, but we're off anyway b/c of thanksgiving on Thursday.

So not much else going on, just chillin' and alternating from the couch to the bed! :) Hope everyone is well! Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Sorry I've been MIA...

Been a bit crazy, and just processing all the info that has been crammed in my brain the last few weeks!!! There are so many things I'm having to process and prepare my heart for. Its been overwhelming, but Matt and my mom and my FRIENDS have been fantastic listening boards to bounce my thoughts off of.

Not only that, Matt's brothers and sister were all here at the same time this weekend! We got to see our nieces and nephew (who are getting SO big!!) and also Matt's long lost family! He has been blown away with excitement (his Mum too!) and we've been over there every day this week since Sunday! Its been a nice distraction from the pain...

I'm also preparing for my surgery, which is tomorrow. I had pre-op last week and had a nice discussion with my GYN, Dr. V. He is FANTASTIC. And lemme tell ya, he is a God-fearin', Jesus-lovin', born again Christian! (he goes to our church, which its a little odd to see your HOO HOO doc at church! LOL) Anyway we were talking about our situation and how his colleague really thinks there is not much time left with my girlie parts. Dr. V tends to agree, but he also knows that we have this chance now. He told me that he just prays that God will bless my womb and our family with the child we so desire. He is so compassionate to our situation! This man prays with us before surgery!! Its pretty cool! So just the fact that he is the one cuttin' makes me feel better.

Also i talked with him about having my appendix out. We've had SO many false alarms with ruptured cysts thinking that my appendix was going to rupture, that Dr. V agreed, its time for it to come out. B/c one of these days I'm not going to pay attention to the horrible pain, and it will be my appy instead of a cyst, and it will pop and we'll have a PROBLEM! So another surgeon who i actually saw in the hospital, will be removing my appendix when I'm under for the Endo. So I'll be staying over night at palms west. FUN OH FUN.

OH update on Matt. Went to MD on Monday. HE IS CLEARED 100% TO BE BACK AT WORK FULL TIME!!! PRAISE THE LORD! He is back to his normal self!

So I'll be out and about for a few days, but will try and post an update in a few days after surgery. Or maybe I'll have Matt actually post!! Its worth a shot. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to struggle with the financial aspect, the IF aspect, and now the healing from surgery!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Something fun...

and silly...


89 words


What about you??

A new day...

And a bit of an update.

So pain is been pretty off and on, more on then off. And pretty intense at times. But for now I'm ok and back to work today after taking yesterday off again. Surgery is scheduled for the 20th and I'll miss about 4 days then it falls over Turkey break, so we're OK with clinic coverage, but its an additional 3 days w/o pay. Unfortunately I am out of sick/vacation time, and about 10 of the 12 1/2 days I've missed will be unpaid. Um that is a complete paycheck, about $1500 take home pay. We are FREAKING out just a tad of course, but God has provided thus far, whats another $1500, right? I'm looking into my short term diability and how it works with the intermittant leave I've been taking. So we'll see. Pray for provisions please! Thank you!

So that's it, surgery is soon, I can make it until then. And just hoping for God's provision and rest, and healing. Thanks everyone! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Overwhelming day...

So I, rather we, had our RE (reproductive endocrinology) appt today. And I'm beyond overwhelmed...I have already had a mini break down, OK honestly SEVERAL mini breakdowns, I'm sure more to come...I'm frustrated, angry and annoyed that we have to go through IF, and taken aback by the cost and just everything. This is gonna be long folks, so grab a snack while you read!

First off, went to GYN this morning and he informed me that I had a ruptured cyst, probably what caused the pain, and continued pain. Will be a bit before I bounce back. Especially b/c it is probably irritating and already irritated section of my body. He also thinks I need a lap for the Endometriosis, but wanted the RE to make the decision. RE agrees w/ ruptured cyst diagnosis. He doesn't care one way or the other if I do a lap now, so if I need pain relief, that's between my GYN and me. So I'm gonna call tomorrow to have him schedule ASAP, b/c i no feel good. I'm taking percocet around the clock and I'm pale, weak, and shaky. They kept asking me at Dr. R (RE) if I was OK b/c I was so pale. Even Matt shared I looked like crap. Thanks hun.

I'm so overwhelmed. Now I know some of you money is not an issue and little bits here and there don't seem like a lot, but for us, money is always a problem. When your buying new equipment, and physical therapy and junk like what we've got to do for Matt and such each month or every 6 months or whenever, it drains income. We're very blessed that we've had so much help, but sometimes we are begging God for the help to make it month to month. And of course He provides. So its overwhelming to have more debt just to try and GET preggie. AND its angers me to no end that we have to SPEND this much and be in debt for a chance, so don't mind the frustration. IF SUCKS and is NOT FAIR!!! But we knew that.

That said.

Just prelim testing WITH insurance will be $1000, which we don't have. Matt has to have a special SA (semen analysis) thing that is $595, that is the SA itself and something called SDD(sperm DNA decodensation assay) He also has to have multiple labs drawn b/c of low counts, and check for the missing y link blah blah thingy in his blood. Some we can send out, some we can't so those that have to be done in house are $250.

Now my stuff: When my period begins I have to go in for a CD3 (cycle day) lab draws for all the hormones (FSH, LH, Prog, Estrogen, LMNOP you know the usual) AND do a GTT (glucose check for diabetes and hypoglycemia) and check for insulin resistance, which was never done by any other docs when diagnosed with PCOS. I'm also doing the cortisol saliva test the night before to check for Cushing's disease, which will probably be negative, but b/c of PCOS and how it is similar to cushings, they check. They'll also do an u/s (trans vag of course) and check for "Egg production" fun oh fun. Lemme tell you how much fun an internal u/s is during your period.

Then on CD 8, 9 or 10 I have to have a cervical and endometrial biopsy. Which requires me to take 4 Advil and hour before and feel crampy for lovely hours after that. Thank God I've got some percocet near by, Just in case!! Now its about $275 out of pocket for this stuff for me...(i know chump change to some, but a lot for us) with all the other odds and ends its about $1000 JUST FOR PRELIM. sigh

Then about 3 weeks later we will regroup wait for test results and come up with a plan. Which all signs are pointing toward IVF which runs approx $18-20,000. Yes you can pick up your jaw from the floor. It truly is that much. And mind you, this is to make a baby, something that is normally FREE and FUN...Right.

Peachy. Now the fun part. I'm too fat. Yes that's right, my BMI (Body Mass Index) is to high and I have to see a nutritional chick and exercise 5x week for 45 min a day. Or rather work up to it. And I need to get my BMI under 30% before they prefer to start doing treatments. B/c for every BMI score above 30 you have a 5% increased chance in failure. And being my BMI is 37% I have a 35% GREATER chance in failure on TOP of our endo, PCOS, and MF issues. Nothing like a gut busting blow to end the day. He changed my Metformin which I take for the PCOS to XR or extended release and to take it all at once at dinner time. Which is fine, so that should help if I do indeed have insulin resistance, and to give a steady level of insulin/BG. So i have to start a PCOS diet and exercise and get nice and thin, which I've never been in my life. TO even get below 30% i need to lose 50lbs, which is such an overwhelming goal for me I could scream. So to know on top of being an IF chick, I'm a fat IF chick. I've struggled with weight my whole life, and now to be told its part of why I can't get pg, is down right insulting, hurtful, frustrating. Especially b/c every day at work I see obese, drug addicts, unhealthy people get PG. And the catch is that I've gained so much weight BECAUSE of treatments, and now its hindering me continuing. He wasn't mean or anything about it, very matter of fact, just another low blow and a tad bit of a crush to my weak wobbly ego. So diet/exercise specifically for PCOS, dietitian. Should be fun. Oh she costs $100...

I'm so overwhelmed, and all we are doing is testing. WE wasted THOUSANDS of dollars at the other RE for nothing, and here we have to start all over. Its not fair, its not fair we have to do this, and pay so much money. I hate IF. I HATE IT! grr. so I'm melting down something fierce. I don't feel good, I hurt physically and mentally. Probably doesn't help that I'm still so icky from the cyst POPPING. There are days I wonder what Matt and I did to deserve this path...All we want, is to be parents. My friend H said it perfect today. IF is not a JOURNEY, but rather a hijacking! B/c I did not CHOOSE this path, I was forced upon it. I like that terminology. I feel so much like we are being punished, or that maybe we're not meant to be...But the idea of that hurts so much, I could scream or puke, or both. sigh

So that's it so far, Matt goes for the SA stuff next week, and I go see the nutritionist in about 3 weeks. and lord willing for a lap this week or next. If you are worn out from reading, you'll see how I'm feeling. I know God has a plan for our life. And this RE seems like he is extremely thorough and with a high success rate. He was very nice and compassionate to my "I'm fat cow" melt down that I had, and I know he wasn't trying to be hurtful. But when you've had this struggle your whole life, and now it keeps you from the dream you've always had. Well, quite frankly, IT SUCKS. But I think he is a good choice for the next phase, the last phase, of trying to conceive. Because folks, realistically, this is our last chance...

I guess if we do go forward with IVF, it will be next summer give or take. Gives us about 6-8 months to raise money and get my weight down. (Be in thoughts for ideas peoples. We need to fundraise!) Please pray for us over the next few weeks. I'm overwhelmed absorbing all of this. Its been a very overwhelming couple of days!!! You who is reading, are you crazed yet? :)

Thanks. Me and my percocet brain are going to bed. Have a blessed day in the Lord.

My turn for the Hospital.

Sheesh we got one day off from matt's IV d/c and then I end up in the hospital.

I'm real woozy so forgive me if this is garbly or whatever...I'm on percocet every 5-6 hours and it knocks me for a loop...oh and its gonna be a long post!!!

On Thurs I wasn't feeling good and had seen the doc. Been having lots of lower rt quadrent pain and just feeling over all yuckies. Well MD set me up for an ultra sound (u/s) on Friday drew a bunch of labs and told me to go to the ER if I felt worse or started vomiting. Well a couple hours later I spiked a low grade temp and started vomiting. Pain was intense (8 or 9 out of a 10 pain scale) and it was constant, then would surge to a 2011!! and go back to a constant 8 or 9...pretty much felt like crapola. :( So Matt took me to the hospital...

I walked in and they ushered me back pretty quick, got IV, anti pukey meds, blood work all that. My white count came back elevated, and I was droppen wbc's in my urine. (weird?? no UTI) So they did a CT scan, had to drink 3 cans of gatorade w/contrast! GAG they did a u/s a trans vag u/s, and then the CT with contrast...(here is the funny part, gave me demoral for pain before the u/s, I FELL ASLEEP during the trans vag! LOL the lady had to wake me up, how weird is that?? Never had such a "pleasent" u/s HA!)

Um well based on symptoms, and bloodwork, ER doc admitted me for a consult with surgery (sx) for an appendicitis. but then the CT scan came back negative for inflammation. But ER didn't care and wanted to make sure it was cleared for sure before sending me home. (thank you ER doc) so came in to ER by 8pm and was admitted by midnight. Not to bad. Didn't go to the room until 330am, but at least I wasn't stuck in the ER for all of it.

The house doc came in that morning and I had just taken some heavy duty dilaudid pain meds, so I was OUT OF IT and w/o pain so he was like "your fine, we'll send you home when sx sees you". Which made me so mad b/c something was wrong. No not an appy maybe, but SOMETHING. So i refused pain meds until the sx doc came to see me. Which really was awful b/c I was HURTING something fearce the 5 HOURS later when sx arrived. So sx came, and again said it wasn't an appy b/c of the neg CT but he agreed something was wrong b/c u/s showed free fluid in the pelvic region and a very thick "irregular" lining, but no large cysts, and my elevated WBC's. BUT HE SAW ME IN PAIN and believed something was off b/c of that. So he wanted to consult MY gyn b/c he'd worked with him before, so we called him and of course he was out of town. but his partner came...but then I got pain meds and i was much happier! and they let me eat since no immediate sx.

Here comes that crapola part:
GYN came in, tends to agree with sx that its not appy and i have a "benign belly" however obviously something is wrong. (DUH) he was very sweet, sat down next to me with mom and just talked for 1/2 hr. Said it seems like I need a lap, but its not "emergant" so we want to wait fo rmy doc Dr. V to do surgery, but wanted to watch me one more night, do labs and then send me home if all normal. Anyway he is sure I have adhesions that are pulling and causing the severe pain. Possibly a "stuck" ovary? but its hard to tell from the outside. He listened to my history and asked my staging and all that. and through that he basically said that I'm running out of time. That i'm going in to "pelvic failure" due to my 18 year history of endo and all the surgeries and all that. He said i'm headed toward a hysterectomy ( LOTS OF TEARS ) so I lost it of course, poor guy had a weepy drugged chick on his hands. His recommendation is to clean me out ASAP like next week if possible, GO TO THE RE (the new specialist we're gonna see) on Monday (b/c it will provide a chance, and hope and possibilities), gyn went to school with our new RE and he is one of the best! Praise god on that and he is on my insurance! YAY, and that matt and I need to devote the next 12-18 months to try and get PG...B/c i'm almost out of time, my uterus and system is just not gonna last to much longer. and pain like this I can NOT function, nor can I function on percocet around the clock. (NOt that I want to! BLEH) So real bomb shell, kind of confirmation that we need to move forward like we want to, but now we've got to figure out how, what we can do, what we should do, what we can afford to do... I'm so not ready to give up that dream of a bio child and/or carrying a child from Embryo adoption (more on that in the future).

So matt and I have had a lot of conversations the last 12-18 hrs...So anyway got a horrid hangover migraine from the dilaudid, so switched to the percs, which don't get rid of all the pain, but make it manageable. SO I go to the RE appt on Monday and try and get into GYN on Tues or monday morning, and see about having a lap and getting into treatments to get PG...I'm jumping in full force, now we'll see if I can sink or swim! OIY.

My bloodwork was back to normal this AM, and pain has not differed any, and no fever, so they felt OK to send me home. No reason to wait at the hospital for a surgery that may not be till end ov next week or later. I'm to return if pain worsens and temp >101. No work till Wednesday but if we can get me in for surgery, we'll just miss out the week. We'll see, haven't talked with my boss yet, she'll be thrilled I'm sure! UGH.

SIGH so its been a crazy weekend, I still feel yucky, and hurt. But I'm gonna have to just suck it up and take it on like the rest of my pain, try and work through it. the GYN was very sweet and understanding, He explained endo adhesions like this: he said the peritoneal cavity is VERY sensitive, and if you take your finger, put super glue on it and touch your eyeball and PULL, its gonna hurt like heck! He said that the peritoneal cavity is that sensitive, so if you have an adhesion, its like pulling glue and causes severe pain. And being all the other stuff was ruled out, endo is the logical conclusion.

If you made it this far you are an angel! Sorry tend to ramble more when drugged. But it IS my blog!! :) So that's it. Pain meds, rest, and MD appts. And prayer's for a pregnancy, or God showing me its time to move past biological and on to adoption. But it will be a loss I'll have to grieve! b/c I so yearn to carry a child, bio or EA...Just a lot to process, and its hard to process on drugs! hee hee...

So that's it. More later, Have a blessed day in the Lord!!

Mer tagged me...

So quick update first:

THE IV PICC LINE IS OUT! WE ARE DONE WITH IV ANTIBIOTIC THERAPY!!!! After 13 weeks of therapy we are DONE!!! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!

OK. So I keep getting tagged with these silly things, so here is the newest one...

So, here goes!

Ten Years Ago I...
1. was 20y/o
2. in college doing pre-req's for nursing school
3. working at Eckerd's in all the departments, and then McDonald's on the side to pay for school.
4. Still lived at home with my parents
5. had not yet met the love of my life!

5 Things on today's "to-do" list (well really tomorrow b/c the last thing to do tonight is SLEEP)
1. Get up (that's a biggie)
2. Get dressed (another biggie)
3. Go to work (this is a tedious one)
4. Make it through the work day and come home (you worn out yet?)
5. Go back to sleep to start it all over again.

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. white cheddar popcorn (I like this one Scotti I'm stealing it!)
2. cheese and crackers
3. Chocolate, most types
4. Fruit salad
5. chips and onion dip

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire
1. tithe the first 10% to God's family
2. pay off all debts
3. help family pay off debts
4. invest in a home that is accessible for our family
5. IVF to try for a baby

5 Places I have lived
1. Winfield, WV
2. West Palm Beach, FL
3. Royal Palm Beach, FL
4. Wellington, FL
5. Um yea that's it!

5 Jobs that I have had
1. worked as my mom's assistant in her cleaning business
2. McDonald's
3. Eckerd's drug store (hey Scotti we share one!)
4. Tech and records management at a visual health care center
5. Pediatric Nurse (or more specifically currently a School Nurse)

I'm now supposed to tag some folks, but I dunno who! So someone else do this. Um, let's see, Danielle, Shelley, and um Carolyn. Yea that sounds good!!!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

Birthday Pics...

My Parents, before sitting down to eat..














My Bro and Sister in law














Our Crazy but fun friends, R and J ( a little too much sangria! hee hee) Oh but SO MUCH FUN!














Matt getting Happy Birthday in Italian














A group Photo of all of us.













Outside in front of the fountain you really can't see...














We tried to get a good photo of the "young ones" but my mom doesn't like to count down before taking the photo!!! LOL




























FINALLY!!!! Scuse my funky hair, it was a HUMID day!!!














OK the birthday cake at the house that I made for Matt. Carrot cake with Cream Cheese Icing.














Playing with balloons!!




































Blowing out the candles!!!














Can you see the haze from the smoke??? Wow that's a lot of candle smoke! he e hee

Happy Birthday Matt!!!

So Matt is 32 today! we've actually had a very lovely weekend! Yesterday we went to church and then out to dinner with my parents, brother, sister in law, and our friend J and R. We went to Carrabba's and had a blast! It was so much fun! Let me tell you, get all of us together and add some sangria? It was hysterical. We chatted for over 3 hours and took a bunch of pics. I'll post them later b/c computer is slow!

Then today Matt had to work, so I decided to make him some dinner. Cooked a pot roast in the crock pot all day, and baked him a carrot cake with cream cheese icing! His parents are coming over to eat cake with us as well. So it will be nice! My man is gettin' old! :D OK not too old, but over all I think it was a lovely weekend!

I'm thrilled b/c I have tomorrow off from work! YAY I need a break! Its been bananas from work, so the day off will be nice! AND Matt is working so I have the house to myself!!

Well off to eat cake! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

MIA...

a few days! It has been NUTS at work. Its only Wednesday and I've worked 3 hours of overtime already! And that is not counting today! OIY.

I've had some very serious, very disturbing stuff going on with a kid and some sexual abuse. It has absolutely knocked me from the inside out! Can you imagine what the kid and family are going through? Its just horrific to think what can occur in this world and will now forever shape this family!

I also had a kid I had to give EpiPen to for her anaphalaxis. That was the joyful fun of yesterday! I'm telling you its just been bonkers! It seems calmer today, not so stressed. I was able to finish up some paperwork this morning and I'm pretty caught up on everything! THANK THE LORD! But could really use a nap! Thankfully this weekend will be a 3 day weekend b/c we do NOT have to work on Monday! YAY.

Matt started back to work on Monday! WA HOO!!! Its only 15 hrs a week but HEY its a start! He has less then 1 week left with the Picc line and IV antibiotics. I can not tell you how happy I'll be to see them go!!! Him too! And he is on week 5 of 8 on HBOT. Home stretch people!!! HALLELUJAH!

Not much else going on. We got a new washer and dryer, (thank you!), and in the process of the lovely sears people putting it in, they flushed 22 year old rubber hose parts in to the main system clogging our sink and dishwasher. Thankfully we have a friend who is "all that and a bag o' chips" and was able to pull our system apart and repair the damage! For free no less! We are blessed to have them in our life! ☺

OK off to work, gotta help distribute swish to the kids. (Swish= flouride) Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

So I've been tagged.

I was tagged by a friend today. The challenge of the tag? Write six things that make me happy. They are to be specific things and not generalities like "seeing my hubby" type stuff. So here ya go, in no particular order of importance...

1. The anticipation of a vacation and the planning of said vacation!!
2. Getting a pedicure with my girlfriend and just being pampered and doted on.
3. Watching my hubby try to make dinner and succeeding while I get to sit on the couch and relax!
4. GETTING or GIVING "S's". In my family an "s" is a surprise. A little something that you were given for no particular reason.
5. Making a difference in a child's life.
6. Watching my fur babies frolic and play, ALWAYS puts a smile on my face!

So now I get to tag some girls. I tag Shelley, Amy, Danielle B., Anita, Patti, and Carolyn. Even if you don't have a blog, sit down and figure out 6 things that make YOU happy!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Talk about a quick response...

So God has already dropped some steps in my lap, and I had to share!!!

So I come home from work in a sour mood. My wonderful hubby who working on rebuilding the strength in our marriage, God Love him...He made me dinner, Flank steak and home made mashed taters. Let me tell you some nummy comfort food! Anyway I come home bad mood, he let me be and I came to the computer to see an email from THE DOCTOR I wrote just this afternoon!!! ALREADY!! So cool..

Now when I tell you i wrote a novel, I WROTE A NOVEL...And he was so compassionate. Well as far as I knew, as of last year my current RE was the only one on my insurance plan, so if we did anything with this new RE it would be out of pocket. OH MY GOSH new RE informed me that HE IS ON MY HEALTH INSURANCE!!! OH MY GOODNESS!! And I checked just to be safe and HE TRULY IS!!! I'm like holy cow!!! So now I can consult with him and it won't cost anything. If it is truly IVF/ICSI we need, then fine, we will be established and I can save up. BUT I CAN do something! YAY...

So he recommended we get all our medical records together from our current RE, urologist, and my GYN, and set up an appt (which includes them needing to call my insurance and get a referral type thing) Can you believe it??

And it goes on, I get a response on my blog regarding my post. A friend of mine. She asks if by any chance I emailed Dr. R b/c even tho she isn't IF she goes for PCOS and other issues and he is FABULOUS and recommends him. ITS THE SAME DOCTOR! SO not only does he come with insurance approval, he comes with a recommendation! OH MY GOODNESS! So I'm all excited and telling Matt about it, and he is on board! HE told me to call tomorrow and make an appt!

I know that its not a miracle baby being put in my tum tum, but its a step, its something I can DO, I'm not going to just sit wondering when I can ever afford to even consult for IVF. I can just GO, talk to the man, maybe my insurance will give me some more IUI's (intrauterine insemination AKA Artificial insemination) with better coverage?? Who knows! Or he can help us with Matt's issues or mine!!! Its open possibilities! I haven't checked it in a year! I'm just blown away!! A year after closing a door, OUR GOD HAS FINALLY OPENED A WINDOW!!! I could CRY! (you know, some MORE tears, cuz I've already cried today, but these will be happy tears!)

I've been on emotional craze today, down in the pits, and now I'm all up in the sun! or should I say up in the SON... So that is my news! i will call the RE tomorrow and work on a consult! Matt and I are still on FMLA so it won't be too difficult to get some time off and keep my job protected...Its a STEP! YAY!!

OK I'm done now. Thanks if you've made it to this point! And thank you all who stand beside us during this crazy ride! Be blessed in our Lord!

I know its just a number...

But I'm bugging out on 30. I'm supposed to be a mom already!!! ARGH... I'm mad, and frustrated, and just down right sad about this whole IF life...I know its a number, but it was a GOAL. A goal I should have reached by now, that may never be reached. AND IT SUCKS!!

I'm tired of being stagnant, not moving, no where to go but to sit here and "take it". My friend posted on Facebook how she is breastfeeding her 11 day old daughter (child #3)...Talk about a punch in the gut! And you know, two of the nicest most deserving people! But again I ask, why not us? Or my friends, K & S, H & P, M & T (um no not us!), or S & D. WHY? Why not these lovely wonderful most deserving people? Why not us...

That is the never ending, never answered question isn't it?

I found myself googling RE's (reproductive endocrinologists) that are local. I have an RE but he is an hour away and has the personality of a toad and his office staff are just not very nice. They used to be, but now its all about the mighty dollar, and no one cares about the fact that you are hurting. So I found one in Wellington near us, and actually emailed the poor man a NOVEL of an email. I told him all about us, what we have, what we did, and inquired about IVF/ICSI.

I know realistically we are coming off of a 4 month BAD TIME and don't have the money. But maybe if I KNOW what I need to save, I can start putting money in some kind of fund to grow for our "IVF" fund... Do fundraisers and such... I don't know. I'm just so blasted frustrated!

I apologize my dear readers for being a freaking yo-yo the last few weeks, some is hormones, the rest is just the general heartache, frustration, and hurt that comes with this lovely journey. I don't know if the doc will email me back, but at least it was a step. I DID something. However pointless that something is...

Sigh, I need prayers, as always...Because today, is not at all a good day...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

TO ME!

I am now officially 30!! Holy crap! I'm no longer a 20-somethin'... HOLY CRAP I SAY!

Of course its only 1:30am and I'm ready to go to bed and sleep through most of my birthday! :) I'm tired! WE had a party at mom's house and it was a blast! Lots of cool stuff and lots of friends and family! Thank you everyone who made my day so special! :)

Oh and my lovely hubby got me a pair of DIAMOND earrings!!! They are GORGEOUS and princess cut like my wedding set is! They 'parkle!!! Aww so sweet of him!!

I know the thoughts are pretty random, so that means, night night time!!! I'm going to bed, long day today (meaning Saturday) and I'm ready to hang out and be 30 for the rest of Sunday!!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!!

Just another Manic Wednesday...

Wait, that is not how the song goes... ☺

So its been a bonkers week here at work! Just kid after kid after kid. I'm getting caught up slowly but surely, but this school year has been NUTS! Add a nutso home life and I'm just plain NUTS! HA (I'd like to think I'm cashews. Mmmmm)

Anyway, I figured I'd post an update on Matt since its been a while. I'll send out an email soon too, just haven't had the chance! Matt is doing FANTASTIC! WAHOO! We went to his ortho on Monday and the cast was REMOVED!!! They also took out the stitches and there were NO HOLES! The incision is healing quite nicely! HBOT is doing the trick! Its the best his foot has looked in 4 months since the ORIGINAL surgery! Matt is in a walking boot now (and doe doe asked the Doctor if that meant he'd be able to walk now! OIY). He's feeling good, his energy level is up up up. AND he goes back to work on the 20th! Part time basis, 15 hours or so a week, but at least its BACK AT WORK!!! We also go back to ID (infectious disease) doc next week. Per our last appt, they said if the incision looks good on Tuesday, he's out of pain, and labs are OK, they will DISCONTINUE THE ANTIBIOTIC!!!!! HALLELUJAH! He will be 4 week post op for the most recent surgery and 12 weeks POST IV antibiotic! (YOWSA that is a LONG time to be infused twice a day!) Matt is so hoping and praying, just wants it to be OVER WITH! He will continue HBOT for the full 8 weeks. He is on week 3 now.

So we are slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! I think our ordeal is starting to come to an end! I can't believe it! I'm so grateful that he is doing well FINALLY and that the healing is there!! Its gonna be OK! Ever feel like your just now exhaling from having held your breath without knowing it? Yea, I'm feeling a bit of that now! I can finally breathe!

So that is it! Off to work...Oh and did I mention, I'm gonna be 30 in FIVE days!?!?!? ACK! I feel old! Bitter sweet as well. But alas that is another post for another time! ☺

♥ Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!! ♥

I'm very chatty lately! ☺

So I find it funny that when I go through a horrible slump, that I then become all filled with insight and yappiness (yes it is a word b/c I MADE IT ☺) Thank you everyone who emailed/posted such kind words about my last post. I guess speaking from the heart really does get through to everyone!! XOXO ♥ ♥ ♥

So b/c everything has been so HEAVY, I figured I'd just yap about nothing, and point out the new blog facelift! What do you think? I love it! looks cool to me ☺

If you look over to your right (and down a ways)---> you'll noticed something called "Followers of our Blog". This is a place for you to click, put in your google info, and become a follower of our blog! simple and easy, and great for the self esteem of the writer! (oo did I say that??) You know me I love to SEE who reads our blog! ☺

Um lets see what else. Oh down below you'll find our music selection has been updated. We have more music then before! some of them are lame, I know, I just haven't had a chance to go back and update and remove some of the weird ones! That's what I get for just picking w/o listening! ♪♫♪♫

Um, that is about it! We have a busy weekend ahead of us. We're going to Miami to pick up some friends of ours coming back from a cruise. Then we are dropping them off at the Casa Grande in South Beach and hanging out. They live in AL so its great to be able to see them! So exciting! Then we'll be-bop our way back home (Stupid IV antibiotic, no staying away for us!!). Church on Sunday most likely then I've GOT to get caught up on the housework/bills/laundry, etc.

Next weekend is my 30th Birthday! ACK! Scary I'm gonna be 30 in 9 days...Not at all where I expected to be by this age, but I know there's a reason for all, right?

Well that's it, off to lunch and then back to work. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Infertility Insight

My online IF buddie, Merideth, has been struggling for the last few days with some insensitive comments/situations from her family. Ultimately her family, in their minds, were trying to protect her heart from hurt by not informing her of the birth of her niece. All though their intentions were good, ultimately their choice of action caused a great deal more pain and rifted their relationship. Thank God, they are working at their relationships and hopefully in time, Mer and her family will be once again united and healed.

On her blog, Mer posted a snippet from the book, “Hannah’s Hope” by Jennifer Saake, which I highly recommend for the infertile and the family of the infertile. Jennifer has a great way of expressing what us in the IF world are TRYING to say but comes out wrong, and how to work with our emotions and our hurting hearts. I know in my family, they have greatly improved in their sensitivity toward Matt and I and our IF life. But there are still times when situations that cause for delicacy (ex: informing me that someone is preggie), I've ended up more hurt by the WAY I was told over just the information that AGAIN someone has moved forward to a child and I'm left behind. For example, finding out that my family has pulled proverbial straws to decide who is going to tell me about said pregnancy, well that is kind of insulting. I know INTENTIONS are good, no one wants to be responsible to tell Talley the hurtful news, but it makes me feel like a burden, a bother. "Who is stuck with the chore of telling Talley." If you look at it from my point of view, it can be hurtful to know that someone was BURDENED with telling me news. Where as to have just told me the news, I could deal with the hurt of the news and move on, yet now I'm struggling with the hurt of how I was told as well. I think Jenni says it all in this snippet from "Hannah's Hope":

Communication is imperative. You can have all the general guidelines in the world, but you can best minister to me by getting to know my heart and learning my triggers for rejoicing or heartache. When in doubt, ask me directly.

In some ways you are in a “no-win” situation. If you ignore me when it is time to send out baby shower invitations or birth announcements, it may make me feel all the more removed from normalcy. Yet if you do include me and I’m having an especially hard day, I may feel you have been insensitive. One idea might be to send me the same baby shower invitation that you are sending all your friends, but inside include a handwritten note acknowledging that you know this might bring me pain. Let me know that I am free to come or not, as I so desire, but that you love me and are praying for me.

My grief has made me vulnerable, this sometimes I misunderstand what you say to me or take your words the wrong way. Please be patient with me. I do not want you to feel like you can’t say anything to me or share from your heart, for I desire for you to talk to me and be my friend now more than ever! Please do not always wait for me to take initiative to get together and talk. I need you to be the one reaching out to me. It reassures me that you haven’t stopped caring about me and still desire to be with me even when it is tough. *I find this one especially perfect with regards to my friends who have moved on to parent children*

And please, don’t just assume things about me during this time of mourning. As me and let me share with you what I am learning. Above all please keep me in your ongoing prayers. And every now and then, call me on the phone or drop me a note in the mail just to remind me that you are praying.

(Please visit http://www.hannah.org/resources/friends.htm for more resources.)

Doesn't she just say it so well? And without disrespect or rudeness and with insightful ways to work with the heart of an IFer.

I find it important to share my heart with all of my "faithful readers". I find that education and understanding and peace come when the lines of communication are wide open. You, the reader, can not learn from me, the writer, if I do not tell you what it is I feel or how things effect me or Matt during this journey. I know that God has a reason for allowing us to have gone so long w/o a child, I have to hold to that. Some days its the only hope that gets me through to tomorrow. I'm hoping that through my experiences, trials, and endurance of this journey, that maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will learn from my experiences. Maybe by sharing our story, one person will be helped, less hurt, or more educated regarding infertility. And through it all, maybe that person will see Christ through me and ultimately receive the blessing of Jesus in their life. Wouldn't that make this entire drama all worthwhile!! But for now I will continue to share our journey with you. Thank you for standing beside us, as we walk this road that God has laid out before us!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!!

***Edited to add***
I just wanted to make it very clear that I hold no grudge, animosity, or anger toward any friend or family member! If God has taught me anything, it is to be patient b/c He is not through with me or anyone else yet! This post was more for insight and educating those new to IF or to a family member with IF...I love my family dearly and they have come so far in their understanding and sensitivity to our situation!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!

While I'm Waiting...

We went to see Fireproof tonight with a friend. I highly recommend it.

I'm still struggling and hurting and just overwhelmed with ache for this child that Matt and I have prayed so long for. Its funny, even in the midst of my pain, God speaks. I was overwhelmed with emotion from a song I heard from the movie. Never heard it before. Yet it touched me to the depths of my soul. I believe it will become a life song for me, for us. But I know I'm not their yet, I know it will take God working in me to make the words of this song come to life.

I still hurt, and I still ask "why God, why?" and hearing a song didn't miraculously cure me or make me feel A-OK again. But I believe it to be a start. Thank you for loving us, and supporting us. Turn off the music at the bottom before listening to this video, and the lyrics are at the bottom. I pray one day I can shout out from the depths of my soul I WILL SERVE YOU LORD WHILE I'M WAITING! I WILL WORSHIP YOU LORD, WHILE I'M WAITING!!!

Lord, I'm waiting.......

While I’m Waiting
Psalm 5:3, 27:14, 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 40:1, Isaiah 30:18, Lamentations 3:24
John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Struggling tonight.....

Matt is at a poker game and for the first time in 4 months I actually have the house to myself for a few hours. I'm exhausted and should really just go to bed, but I find myself reminiscing. I find in the quiet of my house and my brain, being there is nothing to do, I'm left staring at the proverbial elephant in the room, that I"ve had no choice but to ignore during this health crisis with Matt. But I'm overwhelmed with the emotion of loss and pain....And I'm alone to endure it.

We just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary last week and b/c Matt and I have been struggling the last few months through all of this, I thought it would be neat just to watch our wedding video. So I'm seeing all the fun and glory of that day just 6 years ago...It was surreal to see, its seems like yesterday and also like forever ago, almost like a dream...And so many of you were there!!

I saw my uncle, Oma, Matt's uncle and aunt who have all since left this world and are residing in a palace in heaven...They were all so happy and healthy and vibrant with life, it was kinda neat, but struck a heart string of sadness.

Then I found myself looking at all these several couples that married the same year as us, or after us. One is baking their first child, one set has 2 already, another has her 3rd on the way, another has 3 now, and my childhood bff has 2 since then.

We're it, we are the last couple w/o children. And not for lack of trying of course. I just think back to that day and that bride who looked at her whole future, seeing a career, a loving Hubby, and a couple a babies in tow...All I've ever wanted to be was a nurse and a mommy. I've never had any other dream or desire so strong, so determined....

But I"m not her anymore. I have the wonderful hubby, even tho times are hard and we're struggling, he truly is. I have a career i love, filled with the sound of children who I care for daily. But that dream, the one with the babies? Its not here, and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. A year we've been on hold now, unable to move forward in this journey. 12 months of attempts that are washed down the drain b/c of lack of WHATEVER....

I'm so tired of standing still unable to go forward with this. If I could go forward, do IVF or adoption or whatever, at least TRY the next step and it doesn't work, then fine, I can come to grips with this not being God's will. But I can't even do that. I can't afford to even TRY to have a baby. I can't do a thing but sit here month after month after month w/o any ability to move forward. And no matter what we do to save up and attempt, it gets taken away. By illness, medical equipment, bills, wheelchairs, conversions, illness. I'm so tired of being on hold. I'm so tired of being empty armed. Its just not fair...

My BABY cousin, who was at my wedding, He and his wife of just a year are expecting their first child! I'm So thrilled for them and He's so happy and they are so deserving, but I ask God, "why not us?"...Why everyone around us and not us? Why do we have to keep going month after month, year after year, and yet just barely together, so happy and deserving, they are blessed with this wee one, and again its not us...I have to watch my dream lived out through others, watch all these fulfilled dreams for all these people around me and yet my dream is just slipping away. Everyone around me is attaining this blessing and I'm left here alone and empty arms. And I may never attain it.....And that hurts so bad. I yearn, I ACHE for a child. I care for kids for a living, I watch bad parents abuse, neglect, abandon these little ones who I would give almost anything to have of my own. And yet God ignores my cry and passes these helpless wee ones to homes w/o love. I weep and yet it feels as if my hurt, my pain, my tears fall on a God with deaf ears. I know he is a good God a gracious God, but how can He allow this? It hurts too much, and no one deserves to endure this....

Why don't I deserve a child? Why don't we?? Why is it they are blessed beyond measure and yet my dreams are shattered all around me??? I don't understand I don't get it. My hubby and I have enough struggles and trials and tribulations to endure, and we've come out of it, strong, united, and still in LOVE. And yet we are given yet another cross to bear and I just don't know how much more I can take. I am feeling so broken, isolated, empty. My arms hurt, physically hurt and nothing I do takes the pain away...

I want to be a mommy. Please God I want to be a mommy...Father hear my cries!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

TO US! 6 years today we have been married! hard to believe! Interesting anniversary it shall be, filled with IV antibiotics and percocet! HA. Here is a picture from our wedding day!!!

So since I was here I thought I'd update you all on how he is doing. Matt is doing WONDERFULLY from this surgery! We even went to church on Saturday evening! It's been a while! And then out to dinner with my folks! It was nice to have some normalcy for the first time in a LOOONG time!!

Praise God the insurance approved Matt to have Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT). So far for 40 visits! It is quite a commitment indeed, 3 hrs a day 5 days a week for at least 8 weeks. But the schedule has fallen into place, and I have back up for everyone to take him. Thank God! He starts treatment on Monday. We spoke to the HBO team on Wednesday and went through orientation and all that fun. Its very interesting and should LORD WILLING help with his healing in all aspects. Bone, skin, incision. We are still going to several Doctor appts a week, but things are starting to fall into a schedule again.

This has been an interesting journey to say the least, but your thoughts and prayers have been felt through all of it! Thank you for all of you who have been supporting us through thoughts, prayers, and any other way you can think of!

Well, its late and I must keep up on my sleep!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

Update...

Sorry guys, couldn't get wifi here yesterday...


So EVERYTHING went very very well...Surgery was a success and no pins needed to stabilize the bone. Dh is already feeling a difference in his foot, hurt b/c of the incision but not that internal ouchie achey pain. YAY...guess his body really was rejecting or fighting the plate.

They put a foley cath in so no issues with peeing! Came out no issue and is peeing fine! YAY (I know TMI)...

He probably could have gone home tonight but we just decided to wait and go home in the AM. I'm truly amazed at the difference! He is feeling better, color is better, and less "torture" like before

no IV stick b/c of the PICC line, no pee issue b/c of the foley, and feeling better with the plate out! GOD IS GOOD! The last few times have been soo bad, that it was a blessing to not have a "bad experience".

THANK you so much for praying and being there for us! Its a true blessing! We love you! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Update on Matt....

Matt has been having worsening pain and increased swelling, redness, and just general not feeling well. He's been doing very well for several weeks now, but the last 3-4 days he's just not been feeling so hot. He's back on narcotics around the clock and is unable to do much b/c just doesn't feel good and lots of pain. We went back to the MD today...

Infection is beginning to recur b/c the plate is impeding the bone growth and healing. The plate needs to come out, like yesterday. The only opening the hospital has is on Monday, first one 730am. (Palms West Hospital) He said we need to keep doing antibiotic of course, but no reason to admit him for the same thing I'm doing at home (makes sense). He increased him from Vicodin to Percocet and told me to keep him narc'd up until Monday...So that's what I'm gonna do! He is in so much pain!! :( He should remain in the hospital over night at the most and be home by Tuesday morning.

Wed he has an appt with the wound doc and his first hyperbaric oxygen therapy treatment. which he'll do 5 days a week 3-4 hours a day for at least 4 weeks...We're hoping and praying this will help accelerate the bone healing and kill the infection once and for all! Will also help with the wound healing post operative. He'll remain on IV antibiotics another 4-6 weeks post op.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are completely fried/frazzled, and just frustrated with the whole situation. WE are both at the end of our patience and feel like we can't make it this next step, yet we have no choice! We could truly use prayers, and uplifting! I know Matt is struggling on all levels and is fighting to stay positive. This has been an extremely difficult time for us both and we need you all more then ever!!

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts! I'll keep you posted as the next few days unfold!!! Have a blessed day in the Lord.

PS Kitty is doing fine! oh and surprise surprise ITS A GIRL!!!! So um, gotta change her name from Max to ???... All though we are leaning toward Lily.

More Pics of NO NAME

He really does need a name!! Suggestions?

Joy is adjusting very well!! They even love on each other!!! Buster, well he is um, not there yet! :) But he is hissing less!! hee hee

HAVE A BLESSED DAY IN THE LORD!

LOOKIE WHAT WE GOT!!!

My friend called and asked if I wanted a kitten. Her friend found 2 of them on the side of the road. SURE I said... But after the hurricane...Well then she called back and said her friend's hubby is going to have the kittens put down if she doesn't get rid of them herself TODAY!! She desperately asked if I could take one on a trial basis.

But I gotta tell ya, I'm in love with this little one already!!! Isn't s/he cute? Dunno what it is yet, I'm leaning toward boy but I'm not sure what package I'm seeing!!!

Anyway, s/he was dirty (got a BATH), but otherwise OK, eyes and nose are clear, ears are clear, no mites, no fleas...tooshy looks OK too. Has pooped and peed YAY!!! but appears a little malnourished but otherwise very active. Ate kitten chow w/o an issue and is drinking....

So Matt said last night "NOOO we are only keeping it for a few days til you find it a home." Which I answered to, "No problem honey (yea right!) whatever you say." Kitty is sound asleep right now in Matt's LAP where he is just snuggling the baby!! hee hee, its MINE!! Matt's falling for his adorable wittle face too!!!

Is this not such an adorable kitten??? S/he is white and light orange, playful! And a snuggler! Got to get him/her to a vet soon to be checked out.

So what do you think? Adorable right?

This is the pic of the two of them wide awake...Guess who is inheriting the other kitten? MOM! She was "kitty sitting" for my friend who had it for the night last night, and DAD of all people has fall in love with this little thing! IT LOVES HIM!!! So they got the tortisey one with the longer hair (girl we think) and we got the orange and white one (boy we think)...

I'm in LOOOVE!!! Ideas for names? Have a blessed day in the Lord!!!

I know I know, BAD BLOGGER!!

You can smack my hand! But can I just say its been absolutely CRAZY and I've got good excuses!!

So last weekend I flew up to PA and celebrated my friends', L and B, wedding. I went with my other bud N. L and N and me all went to high school together and it was neat having the 3 of us back together again for such a joyous occasion!

In fact, it happened to fall on the 2 year anniversary of Oma's Heaven Day. A day that usually has me in tears, and I was able to have JOYFUL tears in celebration for my dear friend! What a blessing and beautiful way to take the sting off of the day.

Matt is doing fine, still home, still healing. Tentatively he is to have surgery to have the hardware taken out next week but with Hurricane Ike looming around, dunno if it will happen. I'll keep you posted. He's stir crazy and lonely and just ready for this all to be over! We are on the home stretch tho! About 5 1/2-6 weeks to go! He should be back to work in time for my 30th Birthday! YIKES! (Yes I'm gonna be 30. SCARY)

Well I'm at work and should really be working! I will post pics of the wedding soon, you can see me in my dress, and will give you a better, longer update later!! Hope everyone is well!

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

REVISED Brochure Photos

So Meghan from the DG Foundation sent me the whole CD of photos (OVER 100!!!) And I found some that I REALLY like, better then before...

NO i'm not gonna show you all of them! But these just are better to me..(Less tummy showing in me too!)

So here ya go! I have NO IDEA which ones she used for the brochure, I guess we'll find out when it gets here! Its been sent off to print as we speak!

THIS ONE IS MY FAVE! I love a good action shot!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Busy Busy

So not only has school started off with a bang, I've also got this nasty little chest cold that is kickin' my butt!!! But I'm on the mend.

So first we had a crazy 1st day back, I didn't have computers all last week and this week until today, Tuesday we had a hurricane day (which turned into a blessing b/c it was my sickest day. didn't have to call in sick! Phew) and I have so many kids this year my clinic shall bust!!! OIY...

Not to mention, doctors appts, CT scans, Bone scans, AND I leave next week to fly to PA for my friend L's wedding! So I may be a bit spotty at best!!!

I spoke with the DG Foundation rep, she is sending us the ENTIRE CD of Photos from the photo shoot, so we might find some better ones for possible Cmas pics. Be prepared folks to see these again! Hee hee. She said this is a nationwide brochure and Matt is going to be "famous". HA! And she is sending plenty of brochures for the family! Pretty cool actually! hee hee.

So that's IT. I'm waiting on 8 to come around so I can dose up my hubby and GO TO BED! ME IS TIRED! One of my kids asked why I wore dark eye makeup under my eyes today. *blush* guess I need better foundation for the dark circles! OIY.

Have a blessed day in the LORD.

Here are some of the Photos...

That the dude took yesterday. I gotta tell ya, I'm not thrilled with them. BIG SIGH. I have lost almost 10 lbs yet look like a pig. BIG SIGH...Good thing Matt looks so good! :)

I like the posed one of us! IT was SOOO HOT and soo sunny that day, hard not to squint!!! Ignore my belly in the "walking" one...The one where we are holding hands! AWWW...